When you read any book that purports to truth it is difficult to assess where the reality sits. My guess here is that it lies elsewhere. Not that the author's perspective should not be respected but that there is a sense of apology in the way feelings are expressed. As though the infidelities in this gay relationship were somehow OK just because of the gender bias. As a read into a life we would not normally be privileged to it does shed some light on gay couples and their day to day existence. I am not sure though whether the casual treatment of the physical side of the relationship was instructive or just to shock. The redeeming value of this book is its treatment of the AIDS epidemic and its impact on couples and their loved ones.