Top critical review
insightful and healthy
Reviewed in Australia on 5 May 2021
I found the audio version of this book and an easy and fairly insightful listen. I also really think this book provides a healthy perspective to relationships.
I was quite intrigued into the different attachment styles, and some enlightenment into my own attachment style, and some plausible conclusions on perhaps why my attachment style has not gelled well with others.
While advice is not essentially provided in the book, the information aids in understanding, as well as identifying your own attachment style, and those of others.
Parts of the book left me reflecting on some of my previous, intimate interactions, and moving forward, I believe I will adopt or adjust my approach to intimacy and relationships. To gain a perspective like this from a book, can only be healthy.
I also thought the questionnaires were of benefit, and help illustrate my own attachment style.
This book was recommended by a psychologist friend of mine, and my thoughts were, if they gained something from this book, I most certainly would too.
I understand this book has received some mixed commentary, but in terms of the perspective I have garnered (even if only tidbits), and some refinement I can potentially adopt towards intimacy and relationships, as well as a greater understanding through the questionnaire on attachment styles, indicates some merit.
Ive included some highlights from the novel below, and these are probably more pertinent to myself than of collective benefit, but perhaps insightful.
Attachment system is to be calm and secure. True love in the evolutionary sense means peace of mind, ‘still waters run deep.’
Don’t avoid closeness (sharing the same bed for example).
Avoidant is having someone getting in the way of your autonomy.
Self reliance is forcing you to avoid the needs of your partner and concentrate only on your own needs or it prevents you and the person you love from the joy of being a part of something bigger than yourself.