Top critical review
Needs more work.
27 April 2019
Unfortunately, I feel this book needs some work and further editing. There’s some obvious syntax problems within the first few chapters; poor sentence structure makes for an occasionally stilted read and makes it hard for the reader to immerse themselves into the story. Nova also needs to work on the principle “show don’t tell” - when you ‘tell’ the reader what everything looks like etc it changes the tone of the book dramatically. The tone conveyed here feels a bit juvenile and more appropriate to young YA, which, given the themes of the book (including RH, m/m and ‘long steamy scenes’) isn’t desirable. These are issues that should have been picked up and rectified by beta readers (assuming there were some) and the editor. Nova, I’d suggest looking into experienced beta readers not just people who want to read your book for free and tell you that everything sounds great, because they’ve done you a disservice in this regard.
However, I do genuinely like the premise of the novel, and the foundation of a great book is there. With a few more considerable edits this book could be a success.