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It’s very long for young children. The writing itself has grammatical issues: commas when none are needed, overuse of “then”, one sentence with two “saids”, passive voice.
The story itself is fine, however the children come out of nowhere with no explanation. For a story highlighting glass blowing, there’s very little about them. Why can’t anyone know Santa has a brother? How does Zoey know about labour issues with elves? Who the dickens is Rex?
This book can be improved. It’s a cute Christmas story though.