Not a fully fleshed out story
Reviewed in the United States on 29 August 2015
Last Chance Motel is entertaining but it's not a fully fleshed out story and I found myself questioning the author's intent. Was she in a hurry, did she mean to rush over that last scene, leaving us hanging, what about veracity?
In the Josiah Reynolds Death By Honeybee series, Abigail Keam is a top notch writer, the stories are rich, and layered with figurative language, and there are few, if any, typos. Yes, I really do highlight authors' typos. I'm that kind of reader.
Some weak-kneed writing gave me pause:
I have issues with unnecessary apostrophes when lower case nouns and objects need to possessively own things. Usually it's a sign of writer weakness. The motel's logo? Motel logo is fine. The hotel's property? (Insert raspberry sound here). No apostrophe is needed, but a sentence overhaul would be better.
If Eva's new love interest, Mike is such a raging diabetic, why on earth is he eating chocolate cake and drinking wine?
His kiss...was lightening fast... Really it was in utero? How placental. LIGHTNING please, fergawdsakes.
Baby cat? Everyone knows what a kitten is. BTW, they don't EAT milk. Drink, yes.
Character's veracity is called into question when Eva leaves the wet kitten to take a shower and change her clothes first? Wow, her priorities are not in order. Most people would dry off a shivering kitten first, then feed it, not take a shower first. So, when all is said and done, now she sleeps with a still-wet kitten? Ohh-kay. No way it fluff-dried during a storm, not with that humidity.
Explanation of a john boat would be nice. I got to thinking of toilets, or heads with open hatches. Wrong image.
Again, a character's veracity is called to question: when Mike saves Eva from the raging storm, he changes her clothes and puts her to bed without treating her head wound or looking at her lacerated bleeding foot which is wrapped in a garbage bag? But he gives himself a shot of insulin. What about all that blood? C'mon Abigail, flesh out the story more....don't be slovenly. Don't rush over scenes. This story reads like a draft and it needs to go back to the writers' workshop team.
That said, I loved the basic storyline, Eva's rebirth, she's a great new character. I loved the story of the rescued manatee, the lap iguana, the flamingo sign, meeting the locals of Key Largo (sounds like Abigail visited the Sundowner Cafe—love those rolling tarpons). BTW, speaking of veracity, there is no mention of the clouds of mangrove mosquitos waiting for fresh blood, and they are particularly fierce in Key Largo. Suggest the author also watch the classic movie, Key Largo, for more background.
Last Chance Motel is a darned sight better than most of the romantic novels that populate Amazon's low rent Kindle space. But I expected more. As a series, it has great potential, if the author takes the time to flesh out her stories.
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