Have you ever used the term, cheer up, but I do listen to you, you must be kidding? Then according to the author you are using invalidating statements as a form of manipulation. If you have ever caused someone to respond defensively, you are applying manipulation. I found that so many terms were used to describe manipulation in this book that everyone could be considered a manipulator. Was also interesting that although occasionally the author uses he or she, most of the time the term he is used to describe a manipulator.