I bought this book just after ending a relationship with an abusive alcoholic and narcissistic man. I didn't have any clarity on how or why his behaviours had impacted me, or how his abuse had so insidiously colonised my self-worth and emotional life. I needed language and structure to help me get a handle on why I had become so small. I needed to be able to describe him and his behaviours as abusive with confidence and clarity. This book really helped - the abuse I had experienced was directly recognisable in the examples given. Bancroft's book is clearly written and well laid-out. It offers strong support and comfort for abuse survivors through a sensible and experienced perspective. I recommend it highly.