I bought this book just after ending a relationship with an abusive alcoholic and narcissistic man. I didn't have any clarity on how or why his behaviours had impacted me, or how his abuse had so insidiously colonised my self-worth and emotional life. I needed language and structure to help me get a handle on why I had become so small. I needed to be able to describe him and his behaviours as abusive with confidence and clarity. This book really helped - the abuse I had experienced was directly recognisable in the examples given. Bancroft's book is clearly written and well laid-out. It offers strong support and comfort for abuse survivors through a sensible and experienced perspective. I recommend it highly.
An amazing read, so relevant and empowering for victims of emotional abuse. Recognized so many of the behaviors that I had been trying not to notice but my gut was telling me otherwise. This book made me realize a lot of things about my ex which I was previously not able to define or label. And most of all reinforced the decision I've made to leave an angry and controlling man. Fantastic read and I have been back over it many times, highlighting the relevant sections and phrases, to remind myself when I need reminding that it is not worth thinking about him anymore.
Following the demise of my 21-year marriage, this book made absolutely EVERYTHING crystal clear. It also gave me an insight into the male psyche in general. I feel better equipped to discover a person's true character, and not just rely on what people say.
I know so many people who are alive today because they read this book at the right time I know so many more who are happy instead of miserable. This book is a must-read for basically any person. Eventually, you or someone you know will be a victim of domestic violence. This book shows you how to recognize it, and how to help.
Lundy Bancroft manages to delve into the complex issues of abusive relationships in manner that is straight forward and easy to read, without shying away from complexity or the hard bottom lines. This book is an absolute must-read, for professionals, or for anyone seeking understanding or guidance.