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Unconditional Parenting: Moving from Rewards and Punishments to Love and Reason by [Kohn, Alfie]
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Unconditional Parenting: Moving from Rewards and Punishments to Love and Reason 1st Edition, Kindle Edition

4.6 out of 5 stars 292 ratings

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Review

"Unconditional Parenting is going to make you think--hard--about the type of relationship you want to have with your child, about your parenting priorities, and about how to avoid many of the mistakes of our predecessors. It's what we've come to expect from Alfie Kohn, and this is unquestionably one of his most persuasive, important works. For your sake and your child's...read it!" --Ross W. Greene, The Explosive Child "Alfie Kohn holds a crucial position in the American dialogue on parenting. "Unconditional Parenting" is a very important book that can challenge, support, and even change our perspective on what parents do." --Michael Gurian, "The Wonder of Boys and The Wonder of Girls" "A gift to parents! Armed with voluminous research, Alfie Kohn exposes the harm inherent in widely accepted disciplinary practices and offers a variety of powerful alternatives that make it possible for children to become their most thoughtful, caring, responsible selves." --Adele Faber, "How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk" ""Unconditional Parenting" is going to make you think--hard--about the type of relationship you want to have with your child, about your parenting priorities, and about how to avoid many of the mistakes of our predecessors. It's what we've come to expect from Alfie Kohn, and this is unquestionably one of his most persuasive, important works. For your sake and your child's...read it!" --Ross W. Greene, "The Explosive Child" "This book underscores an important parenting principle: Discipline is more about having the right relationship with your child than having the right techniques." --William Sears, "The Baby Book and The Discipline Book" "Alfie Kohn does it again: He takes a topic (parenting) that has been studied and written about for years and gives us a wise way of adjusting our lenses so that we really see it clearly. He doesn't give simple rules, he gives deep understanding and a core foundation for parents." --JoAnn Deak, "Girls Will Be Girls"

Product Description

A groundbreaking approach to parenting by nationally-respected educator Alfie Kohn that gives parents “powerful alternatives to help children become their most caring, responsible selves” (Adele Faber, New York Times bestselling author) by switching the dynamic from doing things to children to working with them in order to understand their needs and how to meet them.

Most parenting guides begin with the question “How can we get kids to do what they're told?” and then proceed to offer various techniques for controlling them. In this truly groundbreaking book, nationally respected educator Alfie Kohn begins instead by asking, “What do kids need—and how can we meet those needs?” What follows from that question are ideas for working with children rather than doing things to them.

One basic need all children have, Kohn argues, is to be loved unconditionally, to know that they will be accepted even if they screw up or fall short. Yet conventional approaches to parenting such as punishments (including “time-outs”), rewards (including positive reinforcement), and other forms of control teach children that they are loved only when they please us or impress us. Kohn cites a body of powerful, and largely unknown, research detailing the damage caused by leading children to believe they must earn our approval. That's precisely the message children derive from common discipline techniques, even though it's not the message most parents intend to send.

More than just another book about discipline, though, Unconditional Parenting addresses the ways parents think about, feel about, and act with their children. It invites them to question their most basic assumptions about raising kids while offering a wealth of practical strategies for shifting from “doing to” to “working with” parenting—including how to replace praise with the unconditional support that children need to grow into healthy, caring, responsible people. This is an eye-opening, paradigm-shattering book that will reconnect readers to their own best instincts and inspire them to become better parents.

Product details

  • Format: Kindle Edition
  • File Size: 944 KB
  • Print Length: 272 pages
  • Publisher: Atria Books; 1 edition (28 March 2006)
  • Sold by: Simon and Schuster Digital Sales Inc (AU)
  • Language: English
  • ASIN: B000GCFD72
  • Text-to-Speech: Enabled
  • X-Ray:
  • Word Wise: Enabled
  • Enhanced Typesetting: Not Enabled
  • Customer Reviews:
  • Amazon Bestsellers Rank: #125,278 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
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4.6 out of 5 stars
4.6 out of 5
292 customer ratings
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Reviewed in Australia on 27 November 2019
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Michaela Braun
5.0 out of 5 stars A parenting bible
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 2 June 2016
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Louise
2.0 out of 5 stars Love the principles but not the book
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 16 November 2018
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D Barber
5.0 out of 5 stars Every prospective parent or guardian should read this book
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 13 January 2020
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Sara Wilson
5.0 out of 5 stars One of the best and most useful books I've ever read on Parenting
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 21 March 2019
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Elizabeth Webster
5.0 out of 5 stars 'the way to handle a child is to love it, love it......
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 10 March 2014
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Thegirlinthefireplace
5.0 out of 5 stars Not your usual parenting book, but thats whats great about it
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 4 June 2016
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Én
5.0 out of 5 stars The best eye-opener on parent-child relationships I have ever come across!
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 29 October 2019
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Starlight
5.0 out of 5 stars All you need is love...
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 19 September 2017
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mumofbubs
5.0 out of 5 stars Excellent
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 1 February 2014
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Amazon Customer
5.0 out of 5 stars Insightful and mind-opening!
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 11 December 2016
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hanelore lott
5.0 out of 5 stars excellent book for any parent or educator
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 21 October 2015
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cheryl cunningham
5.0 out of 5 stars Absolutely fantastic. My husband and I read through this together ...
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 11 September 2017
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Jeremy
5.0 out of 5 stars A shining light swimming upstream
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 28 March 2012
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Pyrrfvb
5.0 out of 5 stars A powerful read
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 3 June 2019
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Annemieke
5.0 out of 5 stars A great book that challenges you to take a brave look ...
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 24 August 2015
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