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The Secret Diary of Hendrik Groen, 83¼ Years Old by [Hendrik Groen, Hester Velmans]

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The Secret Diary of Hendrik Groen, 83¼ Years Old Kindle Edition

by Hendrik Groen (Author), Hester Velmans (Translator) Format: Kindle Edition

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The hilarious international bestselling novel that has had pensioners ditching their sticks and zimmers to follow the age-defying, youth inducing antics inside The Secret Diary of Hendrik Groen, 83 ¼ Years Old . . .

'Terrific. This geriatric Adrian Mole made me laugh' Woman and Home

'Funny and touching' BBC Radio 4

Meet Hendrik Groen. An octogenarian in a care home who has no intention of doing what he's told, or dying quietly. To that end, he creates the Old-But-Not-Dead Club and with his fellow members sets about living his final years with careless abandon. Such anarchism infuriates the care home director but pleases Eefje, the woman who makes Hendrik's frail heart palpitate. If it's never too late to have fun, then can it ever be too late to meet the love of your life?

'So much more than just a comedy' John Boyne

'A story with a great deal of heart' Graeme Simsion, The Rosie Project

'Amusing and wickedly accurate. A handbook of resistance for our time.' Sunday Express

'Very funny' Jeremy Paxman Financial Times

Length: 376 pages	Word Wise: Enabled	Enhanced Typesetting: Enabled
Page Flip: Enabled	Audible Narration: Audible Narration Switch back and forth between reading the Kindle book and listening to the Audible narration. Add narration for a reduced price of $2.99 after you buy the Kindle book. Ready	Language: English

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'A great deal of heart' Graeme Simsion 'Praised for its wit' BBC Radio 4 Front Row 'When I'm an old man, I want to be Hendrik Groen' John Boyne 'I laughed until I cried' David Suchet 'Thoughtful, anxious and gruff... Laced with humour' Mail on Sunday 'Amusing [and] wickedly accurate' Sunday Express (-)

A story with a great deal of heart, it pulled me in with its self-deprecating humour, finely drawn characters and important themes. Anyone who hopes to grow old with dignity will have much to reflect on (Graeme Simsion, author of international phenomenon The Rosie Project)

Thoughtful, anxious and gruff... Laced with humour (The Best New Fiction Mail on Sunday)

Full of off-beat charm and quirky characters (Cathy Rentzenbrink Stylist)

A joy to read, as much concerned with friendship and dignity as it is with the debilitating effects of aging ... An entertaining and uplifting story of a man in the winter of his days, stoic in the face of bureaucratic nonsense and an unabashed need to wear a nappy. Imagined or not, this is the diary of someone who wants nothing more than to be allowed see out his days with dignity and respect. It's not too much to ask, really, is it? (John Boyne Irish Independent)

Amusing [and] wickedly accurate ... I was constantly put in mind of One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest, another comi-tragedy concerning the tyranny of institutions of the unwanted. Enjoy Groen's light touch but do not be fooled by it. We live in an ageing society. The Secret Diary of Hendrik Groen is a handbook of resistance for our time. ***** FIVE STARS (Daily Express)

Hendrik Groen is king (Ray Kluun)

Highly entertaining ... a delightful and touching saga of one man's way of coping with old age ... we may assume that Hendrik Groen is a character of fiction. But it is a fiction so closely based on the observation of real life that it is utterly convincing (Daily Express)

Hendrik pens an exposé of his care home, sets up the Old-But-Not-Dead club and relishes the arrival of a new female resident. This geriatric Adrian Mole made me laugh and think. Terrific (Fanny Blake Woman and Home) --This text refers to the paperback edition.

Book Description

Hendrik Groen may be old, but he is far from dead and isn't planning to be buried any time soon. Granted, his daily strolls are getting shorter and he has to visit his doctor more than he'd like. But surely there is more to life at his age than weak tea and potted geraniums? --This text refers to the paperback edition.

ASIN : B01DOSVSNW
Publisher : Penguin; 1st edition (25 August 2016)
Language: : English
File size : 1585 KB
Text-to-Speech : Enabled
Screen Reader : Supported
Enhanced typesetting : Enabled
X-Ray : Enabled
Word Wise : Enabled
Print length : 376 pages

Best Sellers Rank: 37,560 in Kindle Store (See Top 100 in Kindle Store)
- 89 in Biographical Fiction (Books)
- 105 in Satire (Kindle Store)
- 139 in Satire (Books)

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Veronica

Too close for comfort

Reviewed in Australia on 4 February 2018

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First the title is intriguing, but as you get into the book it becomes a reflection of real life
The authors talent for expressing everyday situations that occur in institutions like aged care homes makes you read more and find out what happens next as you get to know the characters that you feel you are in the situation also.

Most importantly the slightly cynical humour makes you laugh out loud.
I am involved in a Senior's club and and can perceive the people and situations perfectly.

A treat to read and the sad parts are treated so sensitively. I recommend it to anyone.
Good reading

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Tagijack

Enjoyable reading

Reviewed in Australia on 20 December 2018

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Thoroughly enjoyed such a light hearted story. The daily goings on inside the nursing home is both comical and at times sad.

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Kim Clayton

Yes, read this one.

Reviewed in Australia on 18 November 2018

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I don’t read a lot of fiction, this one was worth it.

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Susan McAuliffe

A light but enjoyable read

Reviewed in Australia on 10 August 2019

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A funny insight into retirement home living, most readers could relate to

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Humour and games and sentiment and Old But Not Dead - most enjoyable!

Reviewed in Australia on 11 October 2017

4★
“As part of her plan of action to combat the dementia, Grietje has composed, with my help, two new notes she is to carry with her at all times: ‘What to do if I get lost’ and ‘What to do if I don’t remember exactly who someone is.’ Both notes start with: ‘Please forgive me, but I’m a bit forgetful.’
. . .

‘With a little luck, next year I’ll believe in Santa Claus again!’ said Grietje gaily.

‘Yes, just keep going the way you’re going, and you’ll get there soon enough,’ Evert egged her on. She liked the prospect of trustingly leaving her shoe by the hearth again.

‘Santa Claus could leave me an arch-support insole!’

‘Made of marzipan.”

. . .

I must try to be thankful for every happy day, as Grietje is, and I am trying with all my might, but sometimes I’m just not mighty enough.”

Hendrik is a bit of a grouchy old fellow, but it’s not long before he realises that it’s not just his age and infirmity that have affected his mood, it’s the continuous complaints and “organ recitals” at the dinner table (a phrase I only ever heard used by my aunt, who was exasperated by hearing all the gory details about other people’s organs).

Hendrik discovers that pranks are a lot of fun, and his disposing of some unwanted cake in an aquarium stirs up more than a few dead fish. It's a major incident, and the authorities seek to investigate!

The first part of the book seems to be mostly anecdotes and descriptions, which certainly ring true from my experiences with family and friends and community service organisations, but they didn’t interest me. Been there, done that (well, as an outsider, for the time being). But I persisted.

As he got to know more people and make some particularly special friends (who formed the Old But Not Dead Club - a truly inspired idea), he became involved in their lives and so did I. They consume a lot of wine and whisky and enjoy life. He is happily surprised.

“On parting, a kiss on both cheeks. I felt myself get all hot and bothered. Jesus, I’m eighty-three years old!”

He often refers to the residents as “inmates”, and the authoritarian manager, who tries desperately to control things (impossible), is indeed something of a warden, claiming nobody is allowed to see The Rules (those rules they seem to keep bumping up against with their bright ideas).

And some of their ideas ARE bright and inventive. The "Club" gets up to all sorts of things. Hendrik was not a fan of aids and equipment, from incontinence pads to mobility scooters, but as he sees what others are dealing with (and how much fun the scooters are), he does learn to adapt and look forward. After all, if he wants to get out and about . . .

“I really must make a point of asking my geriatrician next time if there’s anything that can be done about the leaky part or if I’ll just have to resign myself to wearing diapers. Not so long ago I used to think that was when one lost one’s last shred of dignity, but I realize that I have now lowered the bar a bit. The frog in the cooking pot, that’s me.”

I had the same mixed feelings about becoming attached to these elderly folks who are fading and falling apart, but their good humour and companionship won me over. They are not all genteel by any means, and some have quite "direct" language, but nothing offensive except to those pernickety old residents who deserved to be offended!

My Goodreads review includes links to the Canta vehicle he lusted after and to the Dutch cycleways which make getting around so much easier.

There's also a link to Publisher's Weekly which explains that "Hendrik Groen" is an alias.

Thanks to NetGalley and Grand Central Publishing for the preview copy from which I’ve quoted.

Helpful

this impressive debut has humour, heartache and plenty to think about.

Reviewed in Australia on 2 November 2016

The Secret Diary of Hendrik Groen 83 ¼ years old is the first book by Dutch old age pensioner and care home resident, Hendrik Groen. Hendrik starts his diary on the 1st January, 2013 with the aim of “giving the world an uncensored expose: a year in the life of the inmates of a care home in North Amsterdam”.

Hendrik’s descriptions of the goings-on, the staff and residents at his care home are witty, dry, often sarcastic and usually funny. The home’s director “Mrs Stelwagen is always friendly, ready with a willing ear and an encouraging word for everyone, but concealed beneath this veneer of sympathy is an unhealthy dose of self-importance and power lust”

Hendrik’s comments on the day’s events, both in the home and in the greater world are always pithy and insightful. Deaths are big on the agenda: “The deceased are a favourite subject of discussion among the elderly. Perhaps it’s to remind themselves that they are still alive”; euthanasia, too, attracts discussion “Old people are already considered of little social value, but if years from now there are even more of us, I can predict that anyone over seventy will get a nice fat bonus for volunteering to be euthanized”.

When ‘Do Not Resuscitate’ bracelets are made available, Hendrik muses: “What if the paramedics don’t notice your ‘Do not resuscitate’ bracelet until they’ve got your ticker going again with a powerful electric shock? What then? Would they have to desuscitate you?”

Hendrik gets together with some like-minded residents to form the Old-But-Not-Dead Club, for the purpose of planning some activities to which they can truly look forward. Staff are disapproving and the director seems to be intent on finding rules and regulations to curtail their enjoyment: “Rules, supposedly, are always for our own good. But of course they’re first and foremost a means of avoiding risk and preventing lawsuits”

As Hendrik comments on politics and policies, the demise of famous people, the abdication of the Queen, the retirement of the Pope, the attitude of offspring, Tour de France, bullies, mobility scooters, budget cutbacks, Freedom of Information regulations, the war in Syria, and the debilities that age brings, he gives the reader a novel that is blackly funny, but also very moving. And makes us really think about how we treat our elderly.

Hendrik Groen is an alias: after much media speculation, in April 2016, NRC Handelsblad revealed him to be 61 year old Dutch librarian, Peter de Smet. He has written a sequel: “As Long as there is Life” which continues the story of Hendrik and his Club will be published by Michael Joseph in January 2018. Flawlessly translated from the original Dutch by Hester Velmans, this impressive debut has humour, heartache and plenty to think about.

One person found this helpful

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Sabine

Brilliant

Reviewed in Australia on 8 January 2019

A preview of your future which will make you think. Lessons about the harsh realities of ageing are delivered skilfully and in a delightfully humorous manner.

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Top reviews from other countries

rosc

Bitter sweet

Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 11 September 2017

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You will laugh,cry, be exasperated and rejoice but never be bored in the year you will spend with the beautifully created character that is Hendrik Groen. I considered the use of the diary format a very effective way to convey the minute details of Hendrik's life and prevent the book from being a continual succession of observations. It conveys the reality of life for older citizens in nursing homes and although at times quite dark , there is always an effort to find the light,

5 people found this helpful

Blackadder

A Bittersweet Insight Into Care Home Life

Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 25 May 2019

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This novel, written in a day by day diary is written by Hendrik Groen, who resides in an Amsterdam care home. For anyone who has had a relative in a care home, this will invoke many memories. The pointless rules and regulations are covered here, and has some very funny moments. However, being in a care home, there is also tragedy and eventually death. The author creates a group of characters that reside there. Human nature, envy, Hendrick's backstory are touched on as well. Worth a read, although it can seem overlong at times.

One person found this helpful

K G RUSSELL

Heartbreaking Stories of Old Age in a Care Home

Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 13 October 2017

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I wondered if I had read reviews for the wrong book because I didn't find anything to laugh about. I found it heartbreaking and made me quite depressed about the loss of independence and control in old age. It is well-written, informative, and poignant on love and loss - but please don't expect belly-laughs!

4 people found this helpful

K Lancaster

What a let down.

Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 11 September 2018

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The book is split down into diary days. Most of them only last about one and a half pages. I found this very annoying and it seriously spoilt the flow of the story. I mainly bought this on the strength of the comparisons to The One Hundred Year Old Man Who Climbed out of a Window. That it turns out is simply cheap publicity via coat tailing a great piece of writing. The book is repetitive, not very well written and really not worth the effort. I managed to get about twenty five percent of the way through before finding myself on the verge of losing the will to live and abandoned it.

mrs hardyment twickers

as an oldie myself I find it hard to read about oldies!

Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 19 November 2019

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it is a sweet and charming book but for some reason I don't find it amusing but then I dont like comedies or happy musicals either so maybe its my fault but the observations are spot on and he is quite a card! Gift it to your relatives maybe?

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