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Punished by Rewards Paperback – 30 September 1999

4.5 out of 5 stars 287 ratings

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Paperback, 30 September 1999
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Product details

  • ASIN : 0618001816
  • Publisher : Mariner Books; New edition (30 September 1999)
  • Language : English
  • Paperback : 448 pages
  • ISBN-10 : 9780618001811
  • ISBN-13 : 978-0618001811
  • Dimensions : 15.01 x 2.87 x 22.61 cm
  • Customer Reviews:
    4.5 out of 5 stars 287 ratings

Product description

Review

"a clear, convincing demonstration of the shortcomings of pop-behaviorism, written with style, humor, and authority," Kirkus Reviews

"Every parent, teacher, and manager should read this book -- and hurry." -- Thomas Gordon, founder of Parent Effectiveness Training

About the Author

ALFIE KOHN's published works include Punished by Rewards, No Contest: The Case Against Competition, Beyond Discipline, and What to Look for in a Classroom. Described by Time as "perhaps the country's most outspoken critic of educational fixation on grades and test scores," he has traveled across the country delivering lectures to teachers, parents, and researchers.

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4.5 out of 5 stars
4.5 out of 5
287 global ratings
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5.0 out of 5 stars Read it so hard it fell apart!
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 15 June 2019
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5.0 out of 5 stars Read it so hard it fell apart!
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 15 June 2019
This book is great, one every teacher and parent should read, but pretty in-depth and dense.

If you're not going to buy it please take away this message - you *should* actively comment on how you NOTICE your child's hard-work, efforts, abilities, strengths, eg "you've drawn a very colourful picture, tell me about it" "you climbed right up to the top all by yourself!" and it's okay to let your voice and tone speak for your approval, and direct your child to how they might feel "Wow! You must feel so proud of yourself"... However, do try and try as hard as you can not to JUDGE their work with a "well done" "good job" "it's beautiful" or other similar judgy compliment (even though it's a "positive" judgement) - because ultimately you want your child to learn not to rely on other people's praise, even yours, but to assess their own work and to be able to be proud of themselves even when the external praise doesn't come. If not they will never really be satisfied until every last person approves of their work, you want them to be happy with their own approval. You also don't want their brains to get a kick from praise because it will quickly rely on it (praise is essentially verbal/social reward) because it quickly forms a neuro-transmitter addiction - so they slowly lose the ability to feel our human natural internal reward for the things they learn and the things they do since it is overtaken for the need for more addictive external reward. Taken to the extreme you have a kid who only works/learns for money/toys/sweets or whatever, and when these things diminish the effort diminishes.

Also, please take away the idea that is absolutely absolutely beneficial and even essential to tell your child you love them and you are proud of them - just try to keep these unrelated to and separated in time from the things they have just done, as it sends a similar message that you love them because of what they achieve, which gives a message of insecurity "they won't love me if I stop achieving xyz". Your actions, your attention and your look of pride will tell them all they need to know on these occasions - so use these occasions to direct your child's attention to how they might feel IN THEMSELVES, how they should feel self-pride and enjoy their moment.

You can see, I've read and annotated my book to the extent that it fell apart, this is partly because it's a secondhand book (arrived in fine condition) but mostly that I have read the living heck out of it!
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14 people found this helpful
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bluecampion
5.0 out of 5 stars The antidote to 'assertive discipline'
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 18 July 2015
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20 people found this helpful
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5.0 out of 5 stars Every teacher should read this
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 14 January 2021
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Angelika parker
5.0 out of 5 stars Read it!
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 23 June 2016
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2 people found this helpful
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joss40
1.0 out of 5 stars Reward me with a refund plz
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 17 January 2019
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