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The Narcissist You Know by [Burgo, Joseph]
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The Narcissist You Know Kindle Edition

4.5 out of 5 stars 2 customer reviews

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Length: 272 pages Enhanced Typesetting: Enabled Page Flip: Enabled
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"Clear, easily digestible pop psychology." Kirkus Reviews

Are there people in your life who dominate every social situation or work meeting? In their presence, do you feel ignored, insignificant and even humiliated? If so, chances are that you are dealing with a narcissist. Extreme narcissists make up 5 per cent of the population. Chances are, you have a best friend, partner, mother, or boss who is a narcissist. Narcissists do not empathise; there is no give and take; they never admit mistakes. Narcissists deplete the confidence of those around them in order to stay on top. If you have one in your life, you need help.

With more than thirty years of experience studying personality disorders and treating extreme narcissists, Dr Joseph Burgo has developed a useful guidebook to help you defuse hostile situations and survive assaults on your self-esteem should you ever find yourself in an extreme narcissist's orbit.

Dr Burgo also examines our selfie-obsessed culture, and suggests that excessive social media activity may be breeding narcissism. He asks us to look at our own behaviour to identify the instances where our individual and occasional bouts of narcissism may be fuelling discord with our loved ones.

Authoritative and accessible, this is book that will provide genuine help for those seeking to manage or expel narcissistic toxicity their working, home and social lives and improve their relationships generally.


Product details

  • Format: Kindle Edition
  • File Size: 790 KB
  • Print Length: 272 pages
  • Publisher: Macmillan Australia (1 October 2015)
  • Sold by: Macmillan (AU)
  • Language: English
  • ASIN: B010NCHFIE
  • Text-to-Speech: Enabled
  • X-Ray:
  • Word Wise: Not Enabled
  • Screen Reader: Supported
  • Enhanced Typesetting: Enabled
  • Average Customer Review: 4.5 out of 5 stars 2 customer reviews
  • Amazon Bestsellers Rank: #38,712 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)

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Top Customer Reviews

Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase
Dr Joseph Burgo has a flair for writing about a complex subject in a concise meaningful way for the layperson. Found this book slightly unsettling as it is all too easy to recognise the personality types that he delves into. A good book for anyone trying to understand what makes others tick.
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By Jo on 5 October 2015
Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase
I found this book accessible, could relate this to my own experiences without pathologising anyone, and can see ways forward in my normal everyday relationships. Thank you.
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews on Amazon.com (beta)

Amazon.com: 4.4 out of 5 stars 58 reviews
39 of 40 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars I found my true self in this book, and it is not a pretty thing. 29 December 2015
By Jeannette Gosnell - Published on Amazon.com
Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase
I bought this book because I had been told that my son was a narcissist about 10 years ago, We have been estranged since then. Recently, I sat down and wrote him a poison pen e-mail, and I never heard back from him. Then his sister confronted me and asked me to make this right.

So my long-lost son called me that night. We talked for about 45 minutes. He never said the word "narcissist". But he did call me evil. That's the second time one of my children has said that to me.

So after the phone call, I opened this book. After about 10 minutes of reading, I could not find my son anywhere in the book. I saw myself. So I am doing the painful work of recognizing how I have managed to destroy my relationships with my three children. I am burning with shame as use this book as a mirror. I trust God, and I know that he can take this away from me, but I think it's too late to repair the years of abuse that I have heaped on my children. They will never let me get close to them again. I'm glad I found this book now. I have time to make better choices about how I behave, how I react to perceived slights and injuries. Many thanks to the author.
9 of 9 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Provides Great Insight! 2 January 2016
By RedHotMama - Published on Amazon.com
Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase
The Narcissist You know does and OUTSTANDING job of describing the narcissist spectrum, those that would meet the qualifications to be diagnosed with NPD and the focus of his book, those that don't quite meet the requirements to be diagnosed with the disorder but are pretty darn close and are very difficult for the rest of us to deal with. He also does an EXCELLENT job of explaining why people exhibit narcissistic behaviors. I read the book cover to cover in one long night as soon and I received it on my Kindle, It was well written, interesting and not full of boring professional jargon. It was written with the average person in mind. I absolutely do recommend it! However, I was disappointed that there wasn't very much information on how to deal with these types of people. I found the advice on how to deal with them to be general and vague. I would have liked specific detailed information on how interact and/or respond ie: what to say, how to say it, body language, eye contact, etc. The author did such a great and detailed job describing the narcissist we know. Hopefully in a companion book that will be released in the near future he will do an equally great and detailed job describing how to interact with the narcissist we know.
7 of 7 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Excellent field guide in the Journey Back to Full Confidence. 17 June 2016
By James Kay - Published on Amazon.com
Verified Purchase
I've never been hasty about making transitions so I can't speak for how much magic anyone has gleaned from this book.

After my father passed away I had to reconcile in my own mind how it had come to pass I become a disappointment to him, thanks to a variety of factors. Some of those factors were sociological. Some had to do with my mothers slick ability to smooth everything over and thus put each new day behind her as uneventfully as possible. Oh you worry too much. Stop watching Sat morn tv shows and go out to be your dad's best buddy out in the workshop. I'm 7 years old and Dad is hanging out out there to meditate and try to get over the loss of his dad when dad was 17. Not to mention the dozen or so townie friends he had who probably never returned home from WWII.

Being older than my three sisters, I took it for granted those Saturday mornings were his time, not father and son time. He was distanced and mostly seemed annoyed or uncomfortable with my presence so conversations never became the norm. Lawnmowing and sports on TV remained our primary bonding venues his entire life, If you (I) couldn't remember which college some new rookie attended well then your (my) brain must defective.

We were at peace with how my life turned out but the fact is that the sister behind me was his pride and joy. Her vibe turned conspicuously manly or dominant, and without so many words I had unknowing become a conversational scapegoat. But nothing overt enough to recognize.

Long short is mom and sisters enabled his ambivalence toward his own life and toward me. I suppose we were all somewhat oblivious to the tenuousness or the plasticity of their communication. All the politeness. The standard was a facade of everything in being measured by income. And while mom never raised any red flags over the affect of dad's moderate but increasingly regular consumption of alcohol, she did as it turns out have a much tighter grip on the family purse strings and priorities than I had ever been precocious enough to thoroughly question.

Your sisters have earned our support for college and styling salon, but not you. Afterall we did find that nickel bag of mexican under your mattress in 1975.

Long short. The women in my family did little to encourage dad to do embrace life more fully and to be less critical. I now suspect they based a significant amount of their easier rapport with Dad upon th epractice of flattering him for his keen ability to classify the unfamiliar or unexpected as hopeless or useless or defective. The sisters mastered the game and snowed both parents and Mom, as it became clearer after dad passed, had been deluded enough herself (under her own bent toward narcissism) to overlook the sisters multiple divorces and decades long, cocaine influenced, giddiness as the measure of sincerity and happiness.

All of that appears now, to have been cultivated by an overwhelming drive to climb socially and economically, primarily through focusing on appearances rather than any competency at communicating honestly.

This book has been great in helping me to sort out how so many people in our whiz bang lightening snappy culture spend half their lives wondering whether there really is a place in this society for them. And why the other half is so very rarely accurate about their assessments of other people.
5 of 5 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Awesome book! Well researched and easy to read/understand 14 December 2016
By Kathleen N - Published on Amazon.com
Verified Purchase
After a horrible relationship with a boyfriend and sudden breakup I discovered that he was a narcissist and therefore read 5-8 books about narcissism and the traits of this personality disorder. This was by far the best book I found. It details each different "type" of narcissist to the "seducer" to the "martyr" and many more and relates them to a well know person or celebrity and details the characteristics based on that person.

I truly loved this book and it would be helpful for everyone to read because in all likelihood you will encounter a narcissist in your lifetime and instead of being baffled and confused as I was, you will know how to engage and what to expect. Highly recommend!
8 of 8 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Great Read! 1 October 2015
By Prdesmond - Published on Amazon.com
Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase
I saw myself in some of the Extreme Narcissists Burgo describes and it was a real eye opener. Also a little upsetting, to realize how self-absorbed I can be, how my desire to help and advise others probably makes me seem like a Know It All Narcissist from time to time. I expect most readers will find aspects of themselves in this book. They’ll also recognize many other people they know. In the chapter about the Seductive Narcissist, I thought for sure Burgo was talking about my ex!