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Mothering and Daughtering: Keeping Your Bond Strong Through the Teen Years Paperback – 17 July 2013
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"What I love most about this book is how honest and down-to-earth Sil and Eliza are about themselves and their relationship. Girls a nd their moms will find comfort and companionship from two people who have themselves struggled -- and who offer strategies and wisdom that will help all of us become more aware, authentic mothers and daughters." --Rachel Simmons, Author of Odd Girl Out and The Curse of the Good Girl
"This book is a precious gem that I wish had been around for my daughters' adolescence. Sil and Eliza give a timeless gift to mothers and daughters to help them deepen their love and understanding of each other before, during, and after adolescence. Moms who dread the thought of raising their daughters in their teen years will value this lifesaver of practical wisdom. Daughters who are in the midst of figuring out who they are separate from their mothers will appreciate Eliza's advice on how to have a supportive relationship with their mothers without constant fighting. Even though my daughters are now wonderful women, I want to share this book with them and look forward to the conversations and new understandings that this book encourages." --Nancy Gruver, Editor New Moon Girls Magazine
"What Sil and Eliza Reynolds teach mothers and their teenage daughters is profound, essential and revolutionary." --Geneen Roth, #1 New York Times bestselling author of Women Food and God
"If these challenges between mother and daughter are a generational thing, Sil has surely broken the pattern with her own daughter." --Jane Fonda, actor and author of My Life So Far
"Sil and Eliza Reynolds' work offers a huge opportunity for mothers and daughters who want to heal and honor soul in their relationship." --Marion Woodman, Jungian analyst and author of Addiction to Perfection
"Mother-daughter conflict during the teen years is neither inevitable nor healthy. There's another way. Read this book and learn how to keep your mother-daughter bond strong and healthy for a lifetime." --Christiane Northrup, MD, author of the New York Times bestseller Women's Bodies, Women's Wisdom
"In this powerful book, Eliza and Sil Reynolds offer mothers and daughters the only kind of wisdom really worth giving-a reminder that the big secret to a resilient bond is nothing less than love. They're voices intermingle authentically and eloquently, a model for us all of shared, intergenerational leadership and the power of courageous communication." --Courtney E. Martin, author of Perfect Girls, Starving Daughters and Do It Anyway
"What you hold in your hands is more than a book-it's a life-line to mothers and daughters who want to move through the teen years with a real, loving, and lasting relationship. Both Sil and Eliza believe that as girls grow away from childhood and toward adulthood, they actually want and need to stay close to their mothers; and that mothers also want and need closeness, even as they help their girls find their own voice and spread their wings. In this guidebook for a new kind of mother-daughter relationship, Sil and Eliza challenge the stereotype of the broken bond between mother and daughter. They provide inspiration and tools honed from their own experience, and from the hundreds of moms and girls they have helped in their workshops. If you are a mother or a daughter who wants to navigate the teen years side-by-side, please read this book." --Elizabeth Lesser, Cofounder, Omega Institute and author of Broken Open: How Difficult Times Can Help Us Grow
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Top international reviews
Out of the hundreds of parenting books out there, choose this one if you are a mother of a daughter. Sil and Eliza achieve a delicate balance of wisdom and accessibility, in this mother-daughter call to arms... not weapons, but arms to put around each other in order to stay close through these dynamic years. As a mom of an almost 14 year-old adventurous daughter, I've made it a personal mission to defy the stereotypes that insist the teen years must be terrible, and this book is my companion in that mission.
Children are children, and adolescence is adolescence, and I would recommend this to all parents, no matter the gender of your child.
My daughter is not quite old enough to read the Daughtering part, but since I AM a daughter as well as a mother, I found it very insightful and healing to read the Daughtering chapters. Eliza's advice about being a daughter is wise way beyond her years.
The Mothering chapters are SO valuable for all mothers, and I believe fathers, too. I love the definition Sil gives of mothering: "raising your daughter to become herself." She encourages all parents to follow their own intuition when it comes to parenting. She gives very practical, real world advice about how to keep our children close as they go through the changes of adolescence. She gives real examples of what she did when she and her daughter disagreed on curfews, boyfriends, etc. She acknowledges it can be tough to stand your ground as a parent and explains why it is important. She explains in clear terms why it is important for children not to spend all of their time with their peers and how to put smart boundaries around this.
Sil also writes about her relationship with her own mother, and the importance for mothers of looking at the relationship with their own mothers and understanding it.
I love this: "I find it useful to think of parenting as the practice of holding a safe psychological and emotional container for our children to grow in. The parent's job is to continue to adjust and readjust and enlarge and strengthen this container as the child matures developmentally. Conscious mothering is having the awarenss that we are 'holding' and monitoring (at gradually more and more of a distance) our child's progress."
I think healing the mother-daughter relationship is essential for our times and can't recommend this book highly enough.
It's straight forward, covers most important points, and gives food for personal growth.
I took the advices to practice, and noticed the difference in our relationship.
After all, me and my daughter took the workshop that Sil & Eliza offer, and it was an amazing to feel love for each other, again.