You don't need to own a Kindle device to enjoy Kindle books. Download one of our FREE Kindle apps to start reading Kindle books on all your devices.

  • Apple
  • Android
  • Windows Phone
  • Android

To get the free app, enter your mobile phone number.

Kindle Price: $5.35
includes tax, if applicable
Read this title for $0.00. Learn more
Read for $0.00
OR

These promotions will be applied to this item:

Some promotions may be combined; others are not eligible to be combined with other offers. For details, please see the Terms & Conditions associated with these promotions.

Deliver to your Kindle or other device

Deliver to your Kindle or other device

A Mermaid in the Bath: Love, mermaids and altered consciousness:a philosophical novel with some jokes (an everyday story of a man who finds a mermaid in his bath) by [Marmalade, Milton]
Kindle App Ad

A Mermaid in the Bath: Love, mermaids and altered consciousness:a philosophical novel with some jokes (an everyday story of a man who finds a mermaid in his bath) Kindle Edition


See all formats and editions Hide other formats and editions
Amazon Price
New from Used from
Kindle Edition, 22 May 2017
"Please retry"
$5.35

Length: 277 pages Word Wise: Enabled Enhanced Typesetting: Enabled
Page Flip: Enabled Language: English

Kindle Monthly Deals
Kindle Monthly Deals
New deals each month starting at $1.49. Learn more

Product description

Product Description

A humorous novel that crosses the boundaries between literary fiction, philosophy and plain silliness.

A mermaid turns up in your bath, without explanation or warning—what do you do? It's almost as disruptive as the search for Truth or (worse) finding it. To complicate matters further, Lionel falls in love with her just before she disappears into the clutches of the evil Dr Squidtentacles.

Lionel's efforts to rescue her are aided by his friend Captain Kipper, the Higgs Bosun and the lovely Lola 'Hotstuff' Tabasco, and complicated by international hallucinogenic chilli dealer Ramón Pimiento el Picante.

This is a ripping yarn with some very slow car chases involving a Morris Minor and a slow ping-pong duel Matrix-style, not to mention (but I will anyway) a Greek chorus of Cornish villagers, an atomic submarine and a description of St Doris Island and what took place there in the reign of Queen Elizabeth I.

Between chapters of adventure not a lot more absurd than real life are philosophical ponderings by Professor Neville Twistytrouser of St Doris College, Oxford together with testy rebuttals by Professor Alphonse Pince-Nez of the department of Saltimbanques de Mer at the Sorbonne, plus the fully justified complaints of Milton Marmalade's exotic Welsh secretary, Myfanwy.

Destined to become a cult classic.

Milton Marmalade—'An idiot at the height of his powers.'

Product details

  • Format: Kindle Edition
  • File Size: 2819 KB
  • Print Length: 277 pages
  • Simultaneous Device Usage: Unlimited
  • Publisher: Narrow Gate Press; 1 edition (22 May 2017)
  • Sold by: Amazon Australia Services, Inc.
  • Language: English
  • ASIN: B071ZFSHY2
  • Text-to-Speech: Enabled
  • X-Ray:
  • Word Wise: Enabled
  • Screen Reader: Supported
  • Enhanced Typesetting: Enabled
  • Average Customer Review: Be the first to review this item
click to open popover

Customer reviews

There are no customer reviews yet on Amazon.com.au.
5 star
4 star
3 star
2 star
1 star

Most Helpful Customer Reviews on Amazon.com (beta) (May include reviews from Early Reviewer Rewards Program)

Amazon.com: 5.0 out of 5 stars 1 review
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Moved by true love, the protagonist finds himself capable of deeds far ... 10 July 2017
By john dewey jones - Published on Amazon.com
Format: Kindle Edition
This is a novel in the vein of Lewis Carroll, though the Carroll of "Sylvie and Bruno" more than "Alice". It also reminded me of Mervyn Peake, though the Peake of "Mr Pye" more than "Gormenghast". Many readers will be reminded of Douglas Adams. It is not a children's book, unless your children are particularly into descriptions of droplets of water wobbling on the tips of nipples.

Without being in the least preachy, the book has a morally uplifting tenor. Moved by true love, the protagonist finds himself capable of deeds far beyond anything he could have accomplished before finding a mermaid in his bath. The values of courage, friendship and imagination are celebrated, while property developers and purveyors of crystal healing are denounced. There is {spoiler alert] a happy ending.

The novel starts off slowly and a bit stiffly, but the writing improves and the action speeds up as we go along. Keeping track of the action is facilitated by the fact that the villains invariably have villainous names, a device also employed by C.S . Lewis in "That Hideous Strength". One of my favourite chapters are the extracts from Sir Henry Herring's Elizabethan journals, typeset in an appropriate font [IM Fell].

Do not be put off by the claim in the subtitle that this is a philosophical novel. The author does not hit you over the head with any explicit philosophical wiseacring. Occasionally characters have such thoughts as "Is it wrong to pray if you don't believe in God? Is is wrong to wait for the last bus if you don't know that there is one?", but that's about the extent of it, none of the characters is going to stand up and deliver a seventeen-page monologue on the merits of Objectivism.

One of the enjoyable features of re-reading the text is the discovery of what game programmers call "Easter eggs": hidden references to obscure cultural items. Aficionados of the "Mad" magazine of the 1960's, for example, will recognize a Don Martin reference in the chapter on "Hallucinogenic Tea". We can imagine some twenty-second century Martin Gardener coming out with "An Annotated Mermaid", explaining the text's recondite allusions to "Daniel Craig" and other forgotten characters from the previous century.

A caveat: readers will vary in their tolerance for characters having names such as "Fishface" or "Twistytrouser". "We are already," the reader may protest, "Being asked to suspend our disbelief at plot points such as a mermaid appearing in a suburban bathtub; why strain our credulity still further by introducing a Dr Squidtentacle?" On the other hand neither Charles Dickens nor Joseph Heller scorned the use of silly names as a way of getting a laugh.

Anyway, if you are one of those readers, like me, with a limited tolerance for silly names and gratuitous tweeness, you may wish to skip over the intertextual exchanges between the author and his putative secretary, "Myfanwy". This is purportedly a Welsh name, but i suspect it's an encoding of "My fan Y.", Y. standing for someone with an immoderate enthusiasm for the author and his writings. You should not, however, skip over the footnotes, many of which are informative and some of which are true.

Where's My Stuff?

Delivery and Returns

Need Help?