Adrian Tampany, Financial Times Weekend Magazine, September 4-5, 2010
Malignant Self-love (is a) ... magnum opus
Yvonne Roberts, Sunday Times, September 16, 2007
"Sam Vaknin is the world s leading expert on narcissism."
Tim Hall, New York Press, Volume 16, Issue 7 - February 12, 2003
"Vaknin s a respected expert on malignant narcissists ... He set about to know everything there is about the psychopathic narcissist."
Ian Walker, ABC Radio National Background Briefing, July 18, 2004 --Financial Times and Sunday Times
Among many books published on the topic of pathological narcissism, this is by far the best. It is highly recommended not only for the general public but also for professional therapists.
(Akira Otani, Ed.D.,ABPH, University of Maryland)
The book penetrates deeply into the narissist's mind and is filled with myriad gripping novel insights.It gives the reader a great insight into the fears, desires, defenses, and motives of the narcissist, as well as those in relationship with the narcissist.
(Alison Poulsen, Ph.D.)
Brilliant, insightful, extremely relevant, not only clinically, but practically, on a day to day basis. This work can be immediately applied and be of assistance to our society at large.
(Dr. Cyndie Spanier, Ph.D., Deputy Director at Pittsburgh Behavioral Medicine, LLC)
Sam is a genius his work most inspiring not only to myself but to my colleagues as well.
(Joan Jutta Lachkar, Ph.D., Affiliate Member of the New Center for Psychoanalysis and Author of: How to Talk to a Narcissist; How to Talk to a Borderline; Narcissistic/Borderline Couples)
"Sam Vaknin's book is THE bible on Narcissism!"
(Mary Jo Fay, author of 'When Your Perfect Partner Goes Perfectly Wrong - Loving or Leaving the Narcissist in Your Life')
"I consider this book to be the compass for Narcissistic Personality Disorder education" (Jen Emmerich, LMSW, ACSW)
"There is no more important work than this one on the subject ... You may very well discover yourself."
(Heyward Bruce Ewart, III, Ph.D., author of 'Am I Bad')
"Read Malignant Self Love so you will understand that you are NOT crazy, you are just embedded in a crazy making relationship."
(Liane J. Leedom, M.D., author of 'Just Like His Father?')
"Vaknin's depth and breadth are unmatched anywhere else and by anyone else. He knows everything there is to know about narcissistic and psychopathic abusers and how to cope with them effectively."
(Yomtov Barak, family therapist)
"I was stimulated just as I was challenged and enlightened."
(Robert L. Mueller, author of 'Bullying Bosses')
"The only source of such vast, serious, elaborated and thorough first-hand information about Narcissism available. Useful for victims as well as therapists."
(Dr. Nili Raam, author)
'Provides the partners, family and friends of NPD sufferers, and the sufferers themselves, with deep insight into the numerous expressions of this devastating and often insidious disorder."
(Esther Veltheim, author of 'Beyond Concepts')
"One powerful healing tool in our therapy with these people is Dr. Vaknin's book. The most accurate portrayal of the 'typical' cult leader we have ever seen."
(Robert Pardon, Director of MeadowHaven)
"A must read for psychologists, social workers, and all individuals who want to learn how to deal with the narcissists in their lives."
(Laurie Anthony, teacher and author)
"Required reading for any codependent - to understand how the other side works."
(Dr. Irene, psychologist and Webmistress of drirene.com)
--University of Maryland and mental health authors
"If you wish to get under the skin of a Narcissist, if you wish to get to know how he thinks and feels and why he behaves as he does, then this is the book for you."
(Dr. Anthony Benis, Mount Sinai Hospital, New York, and author "Towards Self and Sanity - On the Genetic Origins of the Human Character")
"Sam Vaknin is a leading authority on the topic of narcissism."
(Lisa Angelettie M.S.W., former editor of BellaOnline's Mental Health, "What is Narcissistic Personality Disorder")
"I cannot recommend this book enough to those of you who have this disorder, to families and friends who are trying to understand."
(Patty Pheil, MSW, Mental Health Today )
(T)his book is a must read and will give you insight into the emotionally destructive people in your workplace, your family and among your friends.Sam Vaknin clears up the questions, confusion, and effects of dealing with narcissists: the book is well written, informative, and therapeutic.
(Carolyn Reilly, MSW San Jose, Costa Rica)
"...This book has an important purpose. I am sure it will be appreciated in a library, classroom or among the mental health profession."
(Katherine Theriault, Inscriptions Magazine, Vol. 2, Issue 20)
"Now, for the first time, a much-needed first hand account of what Narcissistic Personality Disorder is like. Offers insight and clarity."
(Howard Brown, 4Therapy )
Sam Vaknin's study of narcissism is truly insightful. The author has done probably more than anyone else to educate others to this poorly understood condition. In this, his twelfth book, he shares his considerable knowledge and experience of narcissism in a comprehensive yet easy to read style.
(The late Tim Field, Bully Online )
Sam has plugged all the loopholes, exposed all the plots, and introduced a new language to confront the Narcissist. A 'hands-on' tool that can immediately bring relief. If you want to breathe again, if you are at your wits end, if everything has been tried and failed, if you NEED a change, then Malignant Self Love can give you your life back. This book is a lifesaver!
(Kathy Stringer, ToddlerTime )
--Mental health scholars and webmasters
You are not alone! Are YOU Abused? Stalked? Harassed? Victimized? Confused and Frightened? Were you brought up by a Narcissistic or Psychopathic Parent? Married to a Narcissist or a Psychopath - or Divorcing One? Afraid your children will turn out to be narcissists or psychopaths? Want to cope with this pernicious, baffling condition? OR: Are You a Narcissist or a Psychopath - or suspect that You may be one ... This book will teach you how to Cope, Survive, and Protect Your Loved Ones!
"Malignant Self-love: Narcissism Revisited" is based on correspondence since 1996 with hundreds of people diagnosed with Narcissistic and Antisocial Personality Disorders (narcissists and psychopaths) and with thousands of their suffering family members, friends, therapists, and colleagues. The first ever book about narcissistic abuse, Malignant Self-love: Narcissism Revisited offers a detailed, first hand account of what it is like to have Narcissistic Personality Disorder. It contains new insights and an organized methodological framework. The book comprises more than 100 Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs) regarding relationships with abusive narcissists and the Narcissistic Personality Disorder.
What is a personality disorder? When the personality is rigid to the point of being unable to change in reaction to changing circumstances - we say that it is disordered. Such a person takes behavioral, emotional, and cognitive cues exclusively from others. His inner world is, so to speak, vacated. His True Self is dilapidated and dysfunctional. Instead he has a tyrannical and delusional False Self. Such a person is incapable of loving and of living. He cannot love others because he cannot love himself. He loves his reflection, his surrogate self. And he is incapable of living because life is a struggle towards, a striving, a drive at something. In other words: life is change. He who cannot change cannot live.
The narcissist is an actor in a monodrama, yet forced to remain behind the scenes. The scenes take center stage, instead. The Narcissist does not cater at all to his own needs. Contrary to his reputation, the Narcissist does not "love" himself in any true sense of the word. He feeds off other people, who hurl back at him an image that he projects to them. This is their sole function in his world: to reflect, to admire, to applaud, to detest - in a word, to assure him that he exists. Otherwise, the narcissist feels, they have no right to tax his time, energy, or emotions.
The posting of Malignant Self Love - Narcissism Revisited on the Web in 1997 has elicited a flood of excited, sad and heart rending responses, mostly from victims of Narcissists but also from people suffering from NPD. This is a true picture of the resulting correspondence with them. This book is not intended to please or to entertain. NPD is a pernicious, vile and tortuous disease, which affects not only the Narcissist. It infects and forever changes people who are in daily contact with the Narcissist. In other words: it is contagious. It is my contention that Narcissism is the mental epidemic of the twentieth century, a plague to be fought by all means. This tome is my contribution to minimizing the damages of this disorder.