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Joanne Fedler

Love In the Time of Contempt: consolations for parents of teenagers Paperback – 21 December 2020

by Joanne Fedler (Author)

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Love in the Time of Contempt is a gritty, hilarious look at the day-to-day interactions with teenagers and the tussled, frazzled and complex business of remaining mature while supporting someone to become an adult. Fedler shares her philosophy that we are meant to parent imperfectly - our mistakes are the start of the important conversations we need to have with our kids. She guides us through enduring intermittent bouts of contempt, while not taking it personally, picking the fights that are worth having, and surviving the journey from frustration, to confusion, to elation and back again.

Love in the Time of Contempt is a funny, poignant account of the dramas and delights of parenting people who know it all, who don't yet have a fully functioning brain and who desperately need us to parent them - just not in the way we're used to.

Print length

278 pages
Language

English
Publisher

Joanne Fedler Media
Publication date

21 December 2020
Dimensions

15.24 x 1.6 x 22.86 cm
ISBN-10

1925842258
ISBN-13

978-1925842258
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Product details

Publisher ‏ : ‎ Joanne Fedler Media (21 December 2020)
Language ‏ : ‎ English
Paperback ‏ : ‎ 278 pages
ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 1925842258
ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-1925842258
Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 15.24 x 1.6 x 22.86 cm

Best Sellers Rank: 222,318 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- 8,846 in Relationships (Books)
- 9,730 in Spiritual Self-Help (Books)
- 18,427 in Motivational Self-Help (Books)

Customer Reviews:
33 ratings

About the author

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Joanne Fedler

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Joanne Fedler is the internationally bestselling author of 12 books, which have been translated into many different languages and have sold over 750 000 copies worldwide. She is a Fulbright scholar, has a Master’s degree in Law from Yale, set up and ran an advocacy centre to end violence against women in South Africa and has spent her life fighting for women’s rights. She was selected as one of the women in 200 Women Who Will Change the Way You See The World (Chronicle Books, 2017).

Her book Things Without A Name has recently been optioned for the screen. As a writing mentor, she offers writing retreats for women all over the world as well as online writing courses. Her courses include the 7 day free online writing challenge, 7 Tricks to Writing Your Story, The Author Awakening Adventure and Write Your First Draft Masterclass. You can find out more or enrol here www.joannefedler.com/courses

For more information please visit www.joannefedler.com

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P M CODY

warm, witty.... and wise.

Reviewed in Australia on 1 February 2015

Joanne Fedler's writing is, as always, warm and witty, with a distinct disdain for taboo. "Love in the Time of Contempt" combines wisdom gleaned from a range of experts, with Joanne's own personal experience as a parent of two teenagers.

Joanne is keen to point out that she claims no expert credentials, and this is not another "how to parent your teenager" book. However, I must admit to being very glad that I have read this book NOW. My own son is just 9. "Love in the Time of Contempt" is wonderful reminder to savour, as much as I am able, these next few years...

One person found this helpful

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yvonne coburn

Love in the Time of Contempt Consolations for Parents of Teenagers Joanne Fedler

Reviewed in Australia on 27 January 2015

Review : Love in the Time of Contempt Consolations for Parents of Teenagers : Joanne Fedler

Yvonne Coburn 26 January 2015

This book by Joanne Fedler is beautifully written and ground breaking.. it is brutally honest ,exhaustively researched and explores the myriad issues that parents face in their daily lives with teenagers.

Joanne provides a wealth of anecdotal evidence, supplemented with research from interviews with many parents about this important topic. She succeeds in opening up cathartic dialogues and offers guidelines to help understand the complexity of young adolescents.

No brief summary can do justice to the intelligence and moral complexity of this book. I picked it up without expectation. I read it with gathering intensity, and a swelling admiration. I finished it, and straightaway started to read it again. It is unusual, original, and utterly compelling.

Joanne's style laced with gentle humour, is as mesmerizing as are her characters. Her dexterous, self-ironizing distance (the autobiographical elements are obvious),the detached gestures with which the narrator interrupts herself, the muted fury that erupts in sentences, and a certain moral seriousness and ethical anguish also impregnate this gem of a book. It is a valuable document of vital relationships and illuminates the important things in life.

This melting pot of a book is handled with style and an easy familiarity. There is a great deal here to move anyone who has watched or felt the sufferings of age and parenthood.

This book is one womans gift to the world and its heartfelt honesty reaches straight to the heart.

From my heart to yours Joanne thank you.

2 people found this helpful

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Rosemary Shapiro-Liu

Read this book BEFORE you have teenagers

Reviewed in Australia on 23 April 2015

Joanne's writing is gritty and real. She is, in person, as she is in the book: telling it like it is, sparing no punches. Don't be fooled when she says in her public speaking engagements that this is not a how-to book: it is. But it is not pedantic. The how-to is in the richness of the stories of life as parent of a teenager. Through the stories she weaves reminders to herself, and to us as readers, of what we need to hold onto. The richness comes not only from her own experience, but from the experience of many parents she interviewed while researching the book. Love in the Time of Contempt is a powerful read, focusing on just one central message: Stay Connected.

Joanne sells little bracelets for parents and children to wear that represent staying connected, and although this my child's most most treasured possession. When I picked him up from after school care one day, he was crying. When I asked him what was wrong he couldn't speak, but he held the bracelet out to me as I held him. Through his tears he was telling me he was connected to me and that he had missed me. He is only 5, and I know things will shift as Joanne has warned in the book. Right now we have a graphic representation of our connection on our wrists. Later, in the crazy teenage years, we will need reminders to stay connected. When he treats me with contempt. When it is hard to communicate. When he locks himself in his room filming 'as if he's Spielberg or something'.

This book has given me a heads up on what to expect in the years to come, and I recommend it for parents of children who are not yet teenagers, as much as I do for those in the thick of it.

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Linzi Napier

Thank God for this book!

Reviewed in Australia on 31 January 2015

Joanne Fedler's brilliant new book, Love in the Time of Contempt, is a must-read for every parent. Whilst there is already plenty of information available on the subject of raising children, until now, no-one has prepared us for the very sudden and tricky transition into raising teens. Prior to reading Love in the Time of Contempt, many daily teenage situations were making me feel uneasy (at best), sometimes downright panicked, and generally quite lost. Now most of these incidents make me laugh (inwardly, of course). Thanks to Joanne, I understand that tumultuous is normal, along with "imbecility" (what a great word). I'm looking forward to connecting with all the other parents of teenagers out there, so that together we can help our teens become happy, well-rounded adults.

In the words of Joanne:
"We can't stop them from suffering but we can be there for them when they suffer. That's all, really."
"Enduring suffering builds resilience. That's their lesson. Watching them suffer builds resilience. That's ours."

Thank you Jo, from the bottom of my heart.

2 people found this helpful

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JLM

If you have, will have or have had teenagers in your life...read this book!

Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 1 February 2015

Verified Purchase

I've just swiped the last page of this incredible book, knowing I will buy the hard copy to be on my bookshelf and dip into as as a reassurance that I'm not losing the plot on my parenting journey. If your baby's becoming a teenager (mine will one day), you have or have had teenagers, are exposed to extended family's teenager or even remember being a teenager - read this! Laugh out loud funny, introspective, serious, informative and non-judgmental...I re-read sentences, trying to imprint them internally to draw on at a later stage. I scrutinize our extended family looking for discernible differences in parenting styles that causes one teenage niece or nephew to be a social delight and the other to be withdrawn, head buried in a device, occasionally grunting a response. I see none. A close, loving family with strong value systems, it seems to be 'the luck of the draw'. This book casts a new light on my surreptitious observations as I look for clues to raise my little boy into the balanced man I've seen my nephews become. Joanne Fedler is a true craftsman of the written word. In her words: 'A child is not a cactus. Kids need the sunlight and water of our attention. Even teenagers do... Teenagers stress-test our love. They make our love true.' Add this gem of a book to your library - you won't regret it

One person found this helpful

LondonReader

She's hit the nail on the head here

Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 10 February 2015

Verified Purchase

This book was recommended to me by a friend of the author and I thought it was an honest, funny and enlightening read having two children that are careering headlong into the teen years. The earlier part of the book brought back some cringy memories of my teenage years, and the latter part some sage wisdom around the best way to 'keep connected' to your teens. I agree with Joanne that communication is the most important part of being a parent and hope to put some of her ideas and those she quotes into practise to navigate my way through the next 6-8 years!

2 people found this helpful

Mrs Deborah J Marshall

Great book for parents of teenagers

Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 19 February 2015

Verified Purchase

This book is written, not by some clever scientist in an office, but by a real mum of teenagers. A bit more hippy than me, but clearly someone with experience. So much of her writing makes brilliant sense to me and has helped me see things in a different light with regard to my own teens. I would definitely recommend this book - you may not agree with everything the author says, but her perspective on the many aspects of teenagers' behaviour is refreshing and insightful.

Ronelle Dinsmore

brilliant insight and perspective! thanks

Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 1 March 2015

Verified Purchase

Putting it all in the right perspective, so much useful insight, and sharing of perspective for the way forward. Enjoyed it very much! I have no doubt that in the coming years I will refer back often when I feel like I am losing my way.

Abbigail Lotz

Life changing

Reviewed in the United States on 23 October 2015

Verified Purchase

Best read in a long time - I laughed, I cried and I felt emotions so deep within as the author wrote about things that resonated and I cooks connect to in so many levels. Anyone with pre-teens and teens - I would highly recommend this book.

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Love In the Time of Contempt: consolations for parents of teenagers Paperback – 21 December 2020

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Joanne Fedler

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