"Have you ever wished your loved one could be kidnapped by aliens? Call 1-800-GOODBYE for more information. No salesmen will call."
If you're Guy Collier, well-meaning but luckless tech writer for a big Los Angeles software company, you might just pick up the phone and call. But that might only be the beginning of your problems.
"Kidnapped by Aliens!" was originally published in June 1995 in Tomorrow SF, edited by Algis Budrys. It includes an essay by the authors, "Writing (and Rewriting) Kidnapped by Aliens!"