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It's OK That You're Not OK: Meeting Grief and Loss in a Culture That Doesn't Understand Kindle Edition
by
Megan Devine
(Author),
Mark Nepo
(Foreword)
Format: Kindle Edition
Megan Devine
(Author)
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Length: 282 pages | Word Wise: Enabled | Enhanced Typesetting: Enabled |
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Language: English |
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Product description
From the Publisher
Megan Devine is a writer, speaker, and advocate for emotional change on a cultural level. She holds a master’s in counseling psychology. Since the tragic loss of her partner in 2009, Megan has emerged as a bold new voice in the world of grief support. Her contributions via her site Refuge in Grief have helped create sanctuary for those in pain and encouragement for those who want to help. For more, visit refugeingrief.com.Mark NepoMark Nepo is a poet and philosopher who has taught in the fields of poetry and spirituality for over 35 years. A<iNew York Times</i#1 bestselling author, he has published 19 books and recorded 14 audio projects. Mark has been interviewed three times by Oprah Winfrey as part of her<iSoul Series</iradio show, and was interviewed by Robin Roberts on<iGood Morning America.</iAs a cancer survivor, Mark devotes his writing and teaching to the journey of inner transformation and the life of relationship. Mark's work is widely accessible and used in spiritual retreats, healing and medical communities, and more. His work has been translated into 20 languages, and he continues to offer readings, lectures, and retreats. Visit MarkNepo.com for more info.
--This text refers to the paperback edition.
Review
"It's OK That You're Not OK is a permission slip to feel what you feel, do what you do, and say what you say, when life finds you in a place of profound loss and the world seems hell-bent on telling you the right way to get back to being the person you'll never again be." --Jonathan Fields, author of How to Live a Good Life, founder of Good Life Project
"Megan Devine has captured the grief experience: grief is not a problem to be solved, but a mystery to be honored. She understands the pain that grieving people carry on top of their actual grief, including the pain of being judged, dismissed, and misunderstood. It's OK That You're Not OK is the book I've been waiting for for 30 years--the one I can recommend to any newly bereaved parent, widow, widower, or adult grieving a death." --Donna Schuurman, senior director of advocacy and training at The Dougy Center for Grieving Children & Families "In this beautifully written offering for our broken hearts, Megan Devine antidotes the culture's messed up messages about bearing the unbearable. We don't have to apologize for being sad! Grief is not a disease from which we must be cured as soon as possible! Rather, the landscape of loss is one of the holiest spaces we can enter. Megan serves as our fearless, feisty, and profoundly compassionate guide." --Mirabai Starr, translator of Dark Night of the Soul: John of the Cross and author of Caravan of No Despair: A Memoir of Loss and Transformation "This book is POWERFUL. Too many grief books focus on 'getting over it, ' but this book says: 'Look grief in the eye. Sit with it.' It's OK That You're Not OK comes at grief with no flinching. It's intelligent and honest. It's a message that everyone who has ever dealt with loss needs to read." --Theresa Reed, author of The Tarot Coloring Book "Our current cultural norms surrounding death render us incapable of dealing with grief authentically and result in unknowingly causing more hurt and suffering to not only ourselves, but the people we care about most. It's OK That You're Not OK is the perfect how-to manual to help heal and support ourselves, each other, and our death-avoidant society." --Sarah Chavez, executive director of The Order of the Good Death "Megan Devine knows grief intimately: she's a therapist and a widow. In this wonderfully honest and deeply generous book, Devine confronts the reality of grieving and reminds us that 'love is the thing that lasts." --Jessica Handler, author of Invisible Sisters: A Memoir and Braving the Fire: A Guide to Writing About Grief and Loss "Megan Devine's hard-won wisdom has the power to normalize and validate the experience of grief. If you're tired of being asked, 'Are you better now?' read this book for a fresh perspective." --Chris Guillebeau, New York Times bestselling author of The Happiness of Pursuit "Grief support and understanding that is heartfelt, straightforward, and wise." --Jack Kornfield, author of A Path with Heart "It's OK That You're Not OK is a wise and necessary book. Megan Devine offers a loving, holistic, and honest vision of what it means to 'companion each other inside what hurts." --Steve Edwards, author of Breaking into the Backcountry "In a culture that leaves us all woefully unprepared to navigate grief, Megan Devine's book is a beacon for a better way of relating. It's OK That You're Not OK shows us the path to be companions, rather than saviors, to loved ones who are experiencing deep pain. This book should be required reading for being human." --Kate McCombs, relationship educator and creator of Tea & Empathy events "Megan Devine tells the truth about loss, and in doing so, she normalizes an experience that has been censored and stigmatized. It's OK That You're Not OK is enormously comforting and validating. Through her life work--and now this important book--Megan leads us to a place that's rare in our culture: a place where our loss is valued and honored and heard." --Tré Miller Rodríguez, author of Splitting the Difference: A Heart-Shaped Memoir "One of the hardest things about going through hard times is trying to get and give support. In It's OK That You're Not OK Megan Devine guides us through tough times with grace. With loving acceptance and compassion, Megan is the new, warm perspective you need." --Vanessa Van Edwards, author of Captivate and behavioral investigator at ScienceofPeople.com "Megan Devine shows us that rather than treat grief as an illness to recover from, we can approach it with warmth and understanding. This is an invaluable book." --Rene Denfeld, bestselling author of The Enchanted and The Child Finder "This book is the radical take on grief we all need. Megan Devine breaks apart stereotypes and societal expectations that layer additional suffering on top of the intense heartbreak of loss. For those in grief, these words will bring comfort and a deep sense of recognition. With precise language, insightful reflections, and easy-to-implement suggestions, this book is a flashlight for finding a way in the darkest times. For anyone looking to support others in their grief, this is required reading!" --Jana DeCristofaro, coordinator of Children's Grief Services, The Dougy Center for Grieving Children & Families --This text refers to the audioCD edition.About the Author
Megan Devine is a writer, speaker, and advocate for emotional change on a cultural level. She holds a master's in counseling psychology. Since the tragic loss of her partner in 2009, Megan has emerged as a bold new voice in the world of grief support. Her contributions via her site Refuge in Grief have helped create sanctuary for those in pain and encouragement for those who want to help. For more, visit refugeingrief.com.
--This text refers to the audioCD edition.
Product details
- ASIN : B073XXYKLP
- Publisher : Sounds True; 1st edition (1 October 2017)
- Language : English
- File size : 1014 KB
- Text-to-Speech : Enabled
- Enhanced typesetting : Enabled
- X-Ray : Enabled
- Word Wise : Enabled
- Print length : 282 pages
- Best Sellers Rank: 46,622 in Kindle Store (See Top 100 in Kindle Store)
- Customer Reviews:
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Customer reviews
4.7 out of 5 stars
4.7 out of 5
4,045 global ratings
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Top review from Australia
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Reviewed in Australia on 21 December 2017
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This is the best book you will ever read on the topic of grief. It’s non denominational, non judgemental and non preachy. Indeed Megan Devine, herself both a therapist and a grieving young widow, manages to provide the perfect words of support for those who are grieving and excellent tips for those want to better support a griever. When I lost my young adult son, I spiralled into a pit of depression but rather than finding a whole raft of support, I discovered there were very few people who jumped down into that hole and just sat with me; those who did have my heartfelt gratitude for their presence. I searched for books that understood the real experience of grief. Megan’s book was the perfect find; she debunks the social myth of returning to “normal” and invites us to build our lives alongside grief. It’s a powerful message, as so many of us grievers feel judged or dismissed. “It’s OK that you’re not ok” provides much needed comfort and understanding of the world of grief; Megan understands that some things in life cannot be fixed, that ‘grief no more needs a solution than love needs a solution”. If you have ever lost someone or find yourself wanting to support a friend, do yourself a favour and buy this book, the kindness and understanding you find in Megan’s work will touch your broken heart and make you feel heard.
4 people found this helpful
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Top reviews from other countries

Sissa
5.0 out of 5 stars
It’s OK that you’re not OK
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 24 September 2018Verified Purchase
I never do book reviews, but this extraordinary piece of kindness that I randomly stumbled upon definitely deserves one. For me, giving myself the simplest validation - it’s OK that you’re not OK - is priceless.
I am a psychologist and I am personally affected by grief. I have a degree that is completely useless to me when facing the reality of loss. But that’s the way we are taught. In desperation to understand myself and to learn how to contain the magnitude of my feelings I read most of the very little that is available on this topic. Useless theories, stages and disorders. I’ve also been fed with much of the current mindfulness and positivity nightmare. Our culture does not only not understand, it is also silent. Grief is uncomfortable so let’s just get it over with quickly. Ignorance hurts. Platitudes hurt. Forced positivity hurts. Unlike any other book, It’s OK That You’re not OK normalizes what is in our society wrongly pathologized in people who are in their most vulnerable state. The author is generous with her own experience, doesn’t avoid what is difficult and describes grief with its raw ugliness instead of trying to paint artificial rainbows all over it. You won’t find empty words of advice, no easy steps to grant your way “back to normal”. But it may become your guide to simply learning to be with what is yours to be with.
This should be a mandatory read for everyone who hasn’t been touched by a great loss yet. And it is a very gentle and validating read for those who have. If you are struggling, reading this book may be just the act of kindness you can show yourself.
I am a psychologist and I am personally affected by grief. I have a degree that is completely useless to me when facing the reality of loss. But that’s the way we are taught. In desperation to understand myself and to learn how to contain the magnitude of my feelings I read most of the very little that is available on this topic. Useless theories, stages and disorders. I’ve also been fed with much of the current mindfulness and positivity nightmare. Our culture does not only not understand, it is also silent. Grief is uncomfortable so let’s just get it over with quickly. Ignorance hurts. Platitudes hurt. Forced positivity hurts. Unlike any other book, It’s OK That You’re not OK normalizes what is in our society wrongly pathologized in people who are in their most vulnerable state. The author is generous with her own experience, doesn’t avoid what is difficult and describes grief with its raw ugliness instead of trying to paint artificial rainbows all over it. You won’t find empty words of advice, no easy steps to grant your way “back to normal”. But it may become your guide to simply learning to be with what is yours to be with.
This should be a mandatory read for everyone who hasn’t been touched by a great loss yet. And it is a very gentle and validating read for those who have. If you are struggling, reading this book may be just the act of kindness you can show yourself.
117 people found this helpful
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Julz
5.0 out of 5 stars
The best book on grief
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 14 September 2018Verified Purchase
I bought this book shortly after my 35 year old fiance died without any warning. I desperately tried to read every book on grief that I could find. This was the only book that articulated everything so perfectly. This book made me feel less alone at the most traumatic, desperate time in my life. I would recommend this book for someone who is experiencing intense all consuming grief and especially if you have lost a spouse. This is the only grief related book I would recommend out of the dozens I have read. The premise of not trying to be strong and resilient is an important one that society needs to understand better. When you are on your knees and your world has been ripped from you and you don't know how to breathe, its perfectly ok to not be ok. Thank you again Megan x
60 people found this helpful
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Amazon Customer
5.0 out of 5 stars
Anything that allows you to acknowledge the painfulness of a loss whilst giving hope of a future where suffering without a loved one is alleviated is worth reading
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 31 March 2018Verified Purchase
I bought this after my Mum passed away a few months ago unexpectedly. It is probably the most oddly comforting book about grief I’ve read. I have found it really helpful and it is so different to lots of other books out there. Anything that allows you to acknowledge the painfulness of a loss whilst giving hope of a future where suffering without a loved one is alleviated is worth reading.
57 people found this helpful
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Beth
5.0 out of 5 stars
Thank you Megan x
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 15 May 2018Verified Purchase
Megan’s book is beautifully written - it will help the grieving & anyone who wants help someone who is.
My father died 9 months ago.
I’ve been coping but knew that something was missing - I wasn’t allowing myself to be honest about how unbearable and unrelenting grief is because it isn’t what people expect. I can now move forward - not on because that will never happen. He was my hero and I will miss him everyday. But the love and memories provide comfort.
My father died 9 months ago.
I’ve been coping but knew that something was missing - I wasn’t allowing myself to be honest about how unbearable and unrelenting grief is because it isn’t what people expect. I can now move forward - not on because that will never happen. He was my hero and I will miss him everyday. But the love and memories provide comfort.
50 people found this helpful
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Sarah
5.0 out of 5 stars
The only grief book you will need
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 13 December 2017Verified Purchase
After reading many books and all trying to fix you this was so refreshing. It says it how it is. It is such a relief to read that you are not crazy, the vomit metric sentence was a huge relief and just saying early grief (5 ish) Year’s was such a wonderful thing to know. I’m at 1. There is such pressure from life and yourself to ‘get on’ and reading this book has made me feel completely different. What a relief. Thank you Megan from the uk.
41 people found this helpful
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