#1 New York Times bestselling author Gregg Olsen’s shocking and empowering true-crime story of three sisters determined to survive their mother’s house of horrors.

After more than a decade, when sisters Nikki, Sami, and Tori Knotek hear the word mom, it claws like an eagle’s talons, triggering memories that have been their secret since childhood. Until now.

For years, behind the closed doors of their farmhouse in Raymond, Washington, their sadistic mother, Shelly, subjected her girls to unimaginable abuse, degradation, torture, and psychic terrors. Through it all, Nikki, Sami, and Tori developed a defiant bond that made them far less vulnerable than Shelly imagined. Even as others were drawn into their mother’s dark and perverse web, the sisters found the strength and courage to escape an escalating nightmare that culminated in multiple murders.

Harrowing and heartrending, If You Tell is a survivor’s story of absolute evil - and the freedom and justice that Nikki, Sami, and Tori risked their lives to fight for. Sisters forever, victims no more, they found a light in the darkness that made them the resilient women they are today - loving, loved, and moving on.

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Product details

Listening Length	10 hours and 34 minutes
Author	Gregg Olsen
Narrator	Karen Peakes
Whispersync for Voice	Ready
Audible.com.au Release Date	01 December 2019
Publisher	Brilliance Audio
Program Type	Audiobook
Version	Unabridged
Language	English
ASIN	B07TMRZT39
Best Sellers Rank	1,245 in Audible Books & Originals (See Top 100 in Audible Books & Originals) 2 in Abduction & Kidnapping True Crime 4 in Biographies of Criminals 6 in Murder True Crime

Customer reviews

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4 star		26%
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2 star		4%
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Top reviews from Australia

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Disturbing

Reviewed in Australia on 18 April 2020

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I won't go into detail about the storyline of the book, as that is covered in the commentary in the kindle purchase.
There are 2 things that I want in a book. Firstly not wanting to put it down and secondly not wanting the book to end. The book met the first criterion but I couldn’t wait to finish it. There is no doubt it was well written but I didn’t enjoy reading the book. It was awful, degrading and shocking. I was angry that significant players did not protect the children including the Grandmother. It is astonishing that trauma can have such a profound affect on children. I am glad there was professional insight at the end to explain this to some degree.

3 people found this helpful

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‘Less of the worst was better than none.’

Reviewed in Australia on 25 December 2020

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True crime books are often disturbing. I found this one is more disturbing than most. Why? For years, Shelly Knotek (Raymond, Washingon State, USA) abused, degraded, and tortured her daughters Nikki, Sami, and Tori. In 2004, she was sentenced to 22 years in prison on one count of second-degree murder and one count of manslaughter. She was found responsible for the deaths of two people, Kathy Loreno and Ronald Woodworth.

Shelly Knotek is still in prison. Her husband David, who received a 15-year sentence for the second-degree murder of Shane Watson (Shelly’s nephew) has since been released.

In this book, Mr Olsen tells the stories of Nikki, Sami, and Tori, of their lives with Shelly and of how they escaped. Shelly herself showed absolutely no regard for any human life except her own. She cajoled, manipulated, and ultimately destroyed several lives. The details are distressing.

For those who wonder why the sisters did not seek help earlier: the control abusers have over their victims is often paralysing. And Shelly Knotek exercised absolute control emotionally (and often physically) over her victims. Nikki, Sami, and Tori have survived.

I did not enjoy reading this book, but I admire the courage that the sisters found to tell their stories. Reading about it is uncomfortable, living it must have been horrific.

Jennifer Cameron-Smith

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Linda

A riveting and shocking story

Reviewed in Australia on 3 October 2020

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It's very hard to believe that these events occurred in this family. But it does happen in many more homes than we know of.
I thought it was well written, with clearly defined time lines and progression through the lives of these poor children.
It is a testament to the strength of the human spirit in overcoming such cruel hardship. But also shows how very hard it is for children to leave such a horrendous situation. They have nowhere to go, no-one to turn to, and incredibly they still love the adults who inflict these tortures.
It makes us aware that we should take more notice of signs that may make us think that all is not right with a child or a within a household, and seek further evidence to the contrary.

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Barbara L Bell

Unbelievable yet true

Reviewed in Australia on 5 April 2020

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This book held my attention throughout. It is macabre, menacingly but gripping and almost impossible to believe that someone can inflict such physical and emotional trauma to another human being. I felt impelled to continue reading to find out whether the tormentors were caught and received punishment for their crime. I don’t think that they did and the justice that was given was not severe enough. It is incomprehensible how the victims accepted the treatment they received knowing that it was wrong.Enjoyable is not the word to describe this book but it holds compulsive almost hypnotic interest.

One person found this helpful

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Emma Williams

Wow, what an impact read!

Reviewed in Australia on 5 April 2020

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This book is dark, transparent, disturbing and a complete eye opener into the souls of the people at its heart. There is no laughter but instead anger and frustration at the way this woman was allowed to continue and compassion for her victims and the survivors of her rage! It is a book that sparks passion for justice and for the encouragement of more survivors to come forward and for us all to support them in that traumatic journey. The sisters are an inspiration and I hope that they can find peace in their hearts somewhere in this life journey despite a torturous childhood and the trauma they directly experienced!

One person found this helpful

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vicky

One of the most Intense books I’ve read

Reviewed in Australia on 3 January 2020

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This book is gripping - I could not put it down. Whilst it was partly to do with the inability to turn away from the horrors before you but also due to the authors ability to weave together an amazing story from multiple sources.
Gaslighting at its worst for all those involved , if you can handle coming face to face with true evil in this world this book is highly recommended.

2 people found this helpful

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Island-Bookworm

What an incredible story!

Reviewed in Australia on 29 September 2020

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It is a difficult subject matter to read about, even more so when you know it is true.
To Nikki, Sammi & Tori, thank you so much for sharing your story. I think you are all absolutely amazing to have survived such a tumultuous and cruel childhood. I wish the three of you much love & healing as you continue on life's journey.

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Colleen Italiano

hard to believe this a true story

Reviewed in Australia on 29 October 2020

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If you have read the Book of David and thought that was bad, you need to read this book. I was actually feeling a bit reading this book. This mother is the most sicko person I've ever read about. They both should be doing a lot more jail time than you got... Warning once you get into it, i couldn't put it down.. did an all nighter with book ..

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Top reviews from other countries

Sandi Rocks

Don't waste your money. Sick book about sick people, protected by more sick, irresponsible people.

Reviewed in the United States on 7 November 2019

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I had no idea that this book would go into such morbid detail. Nor can I understand who this book was directed at? I read less than one quarter of it, trying to see where it was leading, but it just rambled on and on including every horrible act that any person could ever do to another human being. Adults who saw what was happening but chose to do nothing and were then surprised when more terrible things happened? Right! (I.e., A teenager just for the attention, falsely accuses her father of raping her. And then the father, when proven innocent, and who was supposedly devastated, just drops the whole episode and continues to think of her and treat her as his "special little princess" - even as he watches her grow older and lie about and physically abuse others, including (and especially) her own children. She goes through three "shy, caring and once wonderful" (!) husbands who end up being afraid of her too, and they also watch her brutally torture, and actually end up helping her abuse their children. And then there's the mother of this insane women, who witnessed all this but just wasn't sure exactly what to do to stop everything! It's crazy!) I believe the author - that the story is actually true. I believe that there are ignorant irresponsible insane people in the world. But I do not need to read page after page of details of those who allow insane people to destroy the lives of innocent children year after year. It's those who stand by and allow this kind of torture to continue that are the real criminally insane in my opinion. For what it's worth, the writing/grammar in the book itself was way below par. But maybe it's to be expected from the level of education of someone who would hope to make a profit from this kind of "entertainment." Don't waste your time or money. I regret that this book exists for those who are already sick and might be searching for this kind of brutal imagery.

2,042 people found this helpful

Kindle Customer

Evil exists

Reviewed in the United States on 3 November 2019

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I received this book free from Amazon Kindle, as part of the Prime First Reads program. This is my honest and voluntary review.

This book is the true story of the horrors that 3 sisters survived & 3 others did not. It is full of evil and is difficult to read. From a sociological & psychological perspective, it is a book that many may read, simply because they want there to be a definitive point where the abuser & murderer becomes what they are. I've worked with children like S. K. (I refuse to use her name to bring more attention to her), they are absolutely convinced that they have never done anything wrong. It's always someone else at fault. They have not done anything to deserve where they are in life. Things would have continued, as they caused destruction of other's will to live, to be safe, to be loved. Abusers can twist every feeling & memory. They can convince others that the abuse they suffer is their own fault. My thoughts and prayers are with the young women & the families of those who died. I wish I had not read this book. I will have nightmares myself & I did not have to live through life with this horror.

849 people found this helpful

Christine L. Land

A similar story is mine.

Reviewed in the United States on 3 November 2019

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I am in my 50's and have been telling my story for the first time ever in therapy. I relate to understanding yet not understanding why I didn't seek help or why I stayed loyal, feeling obligated to "not wanting to hurt" my parents by letting out the secret. I have been moving from victim to survivor through engagement in intense (and many times scary) therapy sessions. I am grateful to have support from 1 of my 3 siblings who also acknowledges the crazy childhood. Though this book was intermittently intense to read, I know that others would understand my story. Thank you Nikki, Sami and Tori for sharing. RIP Kathy, Shane and Ron.

709 people found this helpful

P. Candice Goddard

A Fascinating Read

Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 4 November 2019

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This is a very interesting, well written and emotional book that centres on Michelle Knotek, the murderer. I personally found that it basically reads itself in so much that once you start reading you can effortlessly keep going. I would recommend it to anyone who enjoys true crime especially for entertainment purposes (I mean if you don't like to personally research but prefer to have information presented in a nice little package).

As someone who suffered psychological and some violent abuse at the hands of my parents and also as a qualified archaeologist, I don't think I would recommend this to people who specifically want to read historical non fiction (actually this was presented to me by kindle bookstore as historical fiction...) because I feel that in an attempt to manipulate the readers emotions even further, after a certain point (the arrival of Shane Watson supposedly 1988 according to the book) the dates of the events are kept purposely vague so that the children seem younger perhaps so that certain aspects of their behaviour makes sense when otherwise it doesn't.
Also some subjective opinions are repetitively presented as undeniable facts.

I gave this book four stars because I really do think that it is well written and very readable. It definitely is worth a read if you want to know what it's like to live with an abusive, narcissistic mother while the world outside remains oblivious. Reading this certainly made me appreciate living in an overpopulated city where certain things would have been noticed more easily.

40 people found this helpful

Nicky

Do no recommend

Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 8 November 2019

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It is not a well written book as some reviews suggest, I got so bored reading the repetitive sentences that went on and on... The story of the abuse that people around Shelly suffered is just terrible but then there’s the step mother who seems to be trying to do something but really doesn’t do much apart from the occasional calls and visits, the rest of the family (father, half sister, two ex-husbands...) know that Shelly is a psychopath but choose to stay away, a husband that is a “good guy” but keeps helping the psychopath to kill people, two older daughters who suffered so much, living with the monster but leave their little sister in their crazy mother’s hands and not just that but even when they are adults carry on covering for their mother’s murders (Nikki half heartedly tried to reveal it all) and also stay away most of the time... I don’t want to sound heartless and obviously it is very difficult for someone like me to understand what these people had to go through but really wasn’t there even person who could just stop that woman and helped at least Tori and Ron????? Again don’t want to sound harsh but I think Shelly did everything she could because she was surrounded by a lot of people (stepmother and father, husband, two grown up daughters, co workers...) who only thought of themselves and how to get away from that monster, if they all got together and persisted she would be behind the bars long before Mac died. Anyway I regret buying this book, all I got out of this book is a boring read and the knowledge that there are so many selfish people in the world who would let monsters like Shelly and her grandmother Anna to walk free and think about their peace and quite and only pretend that they are helpful. I am so disgusted with the authorities and the school those girls went to that I don’t even know in what words to express as to how they failed so many people and they are just as much to blame as that sick woman Shelly.

38 people found this helpful

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