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4.0 out of 5 starsGood ideas for a first step to plan the escape.
Reviewed in Germany on 3 January 2016
Verified Purchase
The book has interesting personal stories which are enlightning and let you see how its the modus operandi of the N for when you want to leave. On the other side it brings a very good insight on what to plan when you are economically dependent on the person you need to flee from.
Don't do the things you would be tempted to do (have the last word, let them know what a monster they are, that you are now happy) ...lock up any emotion in a box and treat them exactly as you would someone you never wished to see again.
Then get away and heal...read this guy's books and see what you were really dealing with...a machine programmed for your destruction. That's it. You are a target. They are a heat- (or attention-) seeking missile.
If you pop your head above the parapet you went to hide in to get away from them, to say 'na na na na na na' to them, then you just gave them something to fix on so they can come after you again.
Do. Not. Do. It.
You had a life before you ever met them, and chances are it was a lot more pleasant than how the monster treated you. Find your happy place again.
Learn from the experience and don't let another monster in.
To prevent that read widely and understand the telltale signs. Learn to look through the obvious (if they are 'charming' get your defences operating!).
Put them through some tough tests to see if they hang around and put effort in. If not, ditch. Keep them at a distance for a long time. Any rush is bad.
Take your own sweet time. If they are a forever person, taking time at the beginning will just be the start of a long investment.
5.0 out of 5 starsDon’t Read This Until You Have Faced Reality!
Reviewed in the United States on 3 April 2019
Verified Purchase
HG Tudor writes with chilling authority as a self-confessed narcissist. I read this book two years ago when I was first trying to escape. Then, I could not see my situation fitting the extreme measures Tudor expressed, as I was still blaming myself for the trauma occurring in my marriage. Now, I accept that his advice comes from an in-depth knowledge of what drives the narcissist, and how difficult it is to leave such a toxic person. Readers may not find all his guidance to be applicable, but this book honestly describes the degree of resolve and advance planning necessary to break free successfully.