I want to let you know that doing break ups well is worth the trouble. It really is. If you can look back on this time of chaos and hurt and know that you did the best you could and behaved like a courageous big-hearted imperfect human, you will feel better. You really will.
And you won’t just feel better, behaving well will take you to a better place than your friends and relations who are acting like Tasmanian devils in distress or bunnies in the headlights.
Behaving well will not only help you deal with the loss of your partner, it will also help you to feel better about yourself. You can be proud of how you dealt with this terrible challenge. And I really want that for you.
I’ve spent ages researching the science of behaving well. In trying to find a way through the dark of breaking up, I’ve hunted down all sorts of evidence-based reasons and strategies to light the way for stepping up, standing up and even sometimes shutting up, in order to support your own growth, your children’s wellbeing (if you have them) and to give your ex an opportunity to behave well towards you in turn.