Good Lord! Where were the toilets? Ms Kostanechi had gestured towards the shrubbery at the bottom of the garden. ‘We have the very latest in sustainable lavatory technology.’ What did that mean? A hole in the ground and a handful of moss, in place of a roll of aloe vera toilet paper?
She’d been as co-operative as a chattering of four-year-olds with earthworms in their knickers.
‘You’ve done what?’ Dogs three streets away howled in anguish, Connie-behind-the-Portly & Groops-counter dropped the tray of coffee cups she was carrying, and a toddler, who’d been struggling to climb out of his highchair, slid back into his seat and buried his face in his hands. Teri blinked… ‘Why? Why?’ I’d lowered my voice, largely because the huge lump in my throat was making it difficult to speak.
I’m not really into food where the steak is so lightly cooked there’s a good chance it’ll leap off the plate and start chewing the cud.
… those flirtingly sparkly blue eyes and heart-shaped ruby lips belie one of nature’s meanest gossips. She works on the basis that if a rumour has even a smidgen of truth in it, it’s worth spreading around the whole university on the basis that it’s bound to come true by the time it’s finished its travels… ‘Well, don’t you think it’s exciting?’ she chirruped, leaning in slightly and glancing into the back of my car in the hope there might be something incriminating there – like a naked man whose wrists were tied perhaps.
‘But, what about the age gap?’ She waved an elegantly painted finger. ‘Oh, age is just a number.’ ‘But aren’t there rather a lot of numbers between you?’
While almost all of the characters in this book were personalities I would avoid on pain of death and would definitely not enjoy personally sharing air with as they were deeply flawed and rather abhorrent, I smirked and barked my way through this witty and snarky tale. So much so, that I plan to read the two earlier books in the series. The writing was stellar and packed with highly amusing observations and rib-tickling descriptions that pulled sharp visuals to mind. I cringed and groaned at some of the awful things that Teri said and did, but I also couldn’t wait to see what happened next.
The character of Teri was the most loathsome to me as she was a thoughtless loose cannon and an obnoxious, red Louboutin shod drama-queen. She was basically a self-involved diva who couldn’t see or concern herself with anything beyond her own nose. She was selfish, impetuous, demanding, petty, lazy, gorgeous, insecure, and a honey trap for men. I couldn’t imagine why the stodgy academician, Lee, remained her friend. Teri thoughtlessly blundered on creating huge scenes and life-altering messes and Lee would seethe and grind her teeth, but eventually, she would sigh and forgive her. I must confess to never being that kind or patient towards anyone – friend or family. When someone screws me over - I make sure they aren’t able to do it more than once, and the earth beneath them is usually scorched!
I gained a treasure trove of new additions for my Brit Words and Phrases List with make a decent fist – make a worthy effort; lolloped – moving in an ungainly or awkward manner; and the multi-tasker of pipped which has several meanings such as – shoot with a gun, drunk, insult, molest, or defeat by a narrow margin; and twonk – which is Victorian slang for a stupid or foolish person, and although it may no longer be in use today, it is still fun to say.
- Format: Kindle Edition
- File Size: 476 KB
- Print Length: 285 pages
- Simultaneous Device Usage: Unlimited
- Publisher: Lakewater Press (19 November 2019)
- Sold by: Amazon Australia Services, Inc.
- Language: English
- ASIN: B07Z53NX51
- Text-to-Speech: Enabled
- Word Wise: Enabled
- Customer Reviews: 4 customer ratings