In "The Daughter's Dilemma" Emily shares with us an easy to understand outline on how to survive the 'care giver' jobs so many of us find ourselves in today. Working, taking care of a family and being a care giver is a lot to manage. If you add being a care giver to an abusive parent, it would seem too much to ask of anyone. Emily did it all and she shares with us in "The Daughter's Dilemma" her stories and ideas to help us handle our story a little easier. (Even if your parent wasn't abusive this book offers insight and ideas we can all use.)
Thank you, Emily for sharing what you learned during your struggles, to help those of us still struggling to find our way!
Why am I caring for her when she didn’t care for me?
Your answer to this question is complicated—and you’re conflicted. You grew up with a mother who traumatized you and now you feel duty-bound to care for her in her final years. Instead of the labor of love that most daughters undertake when their parent ages, you feel you’re walking onto another battlefield. How can you fulfill your obligation while protecting yourself from further abuse and maintaining your sanity?
In The Daughter’s Dilemma, international bestselling author and intergenerational trauma expert Emily Wanderer Cohen reveals the six keys to caring for an aging, abusive parent. Based on her own experience as a caregiver to her Holocaust survivor mother, the steps outlined in this book provide a foundation for a smoother, saner, and safer caregiving journey for anyone who finds themselves caring for an aging, abusive parent.
In this book, you’ll learn how to:
- Set healthy boundaries with your abusive parent so you can protect yourself emotionally, stay calm when she pushes your buttons, and escape gracefully when it’s simply too much to bear.
- Ask for help from friends and family or outsource to a third party—without shame or guilt.
- Nourish your mind, body, and soul with activities that bring you joy—and stick to a plan that puts YOU first.
- Communicate with your parent’s caregivers so you can work together and advocate effectively for her.
- Recognize your parent’s trauma triggers, understand their origins, and use some simple tools to minimize their emergence.
- Gain closure with your parent on your terms from a point of confidence and resilience.
If you’re trying to reconcile your sense of duty to care for your parent with the pain and resentment of years of abuse from them, this book is your ultimate survival guide.