"Conversational and often witty .. A mindful and highly readable meditation." -- Publishers Weekly
"This spirit-lifting book leaves the reader braver, wiser and laughing. Lerner's advice is the best you will find."--Edward Hallowell, M.D., author of Driven to Distraction
"A flat-out life-changing book."--Betty Carter, M.S.W. Director Emerita, Family Institute of Westchester, New York
"Powerful mind-medicine."--Martha Beck, O, The Oprah Magazine
Powerful mind-medicine. --Martha Beck, O, The Oprah Magazine"
This spirit-lifting book leaves the reader braver, wiser and laughing. Lerner s advice is the best you will find. --Edward Hallowell, M.D., author of Driven to Distraction"
A flat-out life-changing book. --Betty Carter, M.S.W. Director Emerita, Family Institute of Westchester, New York"
Unhappiness, says bestselling author Harriet Lerner, is fueled by three key emotions: anxiety, fear, and shame. They are the uninvited guests in our lives. When tragedy or hardship hits, they may become our constant companions.
Anxiety can wash over us like a tidal wave or operate as a silent thrum under the surface of our daily lives. With stories that are sometimes hilarious and sometimes heartbreaking, Lerner takes us from "fear lite" to the most difficult lessons the universe sends us. We learn:
- how a man was "cured in a day" of the fear of rejection -- and what we can learn from his story
- how the author overcame her dread of public speaking when her worst fears were realized
- how to deal with the fear of not being good enough, and with the shame of feeling essentially flawed and inadequate
- how to stay calm and clear in an anxious, crazy workplace
- how to manage fear and despair when life sends a crash course in illness, vulnerability, and loss
- how "positive thinking" helps -- and harms
- how to be our best and bravest selves, even when we are terrified and have internalized the shaming messages of others
“Powerful mind-medicine.” (Martha Beck, O, The Oprah Magazine)
“This spirit-lifting book leaves the reader braver, wiser and laughing. Lerner’s advice is the best you will find.” (Edward Hallowell, M.D., author of Driven to Distraction)
“A flat-out life-changing book.” (Betty Carter, M.S.W. Director Emerita, Family Institute of Westchester, New York)
About the Author
Harriet Lerner was born and raised in Brooklyn, New York, the second of two daughters. Her parents, Archie and Rose Goldhor, were both children of Russian-Jewish immigrant parents. They were high school graduates who wanted their daughters to "be someone" at a time when women were only supposed to "find someone."
"Achievement was next to Godliness for my sister, Susan, and me." Harriet notes. "My father would talk about ‘My daughters the doctors’ while we were still in our strollers."
Growing up, Harriet and Susan spent weekends at the Brooklyn Botanical Garden, the Brooklyn Public Library and the Brooklyn Museum. "These places were free and just a subway token away."
Lerner's mother had an unwavering belief in her daughters and strong principles about how to raise children. In Harriet's words:
"Even during the hardest economic times my mother, Rose, made sure that Susan and I had four things that she believed were essential to our later success:
1. Good shoes (I don't mean stylish)
2. A firm, quality mattress
3. A top pediatrician (none other than Doctor Benjamin Spock);
4. A therapist
Unlike other parents of the day who considered therapy to be a last resort of the mentally ill, my mother thought it was a learning experience. She put me in therapy before I was three, after obtaining a health insurance policy that provided weekly therapy sessions for one dollar. I later joked that my mother would send me to a therapist if I came home from school with anything less than a B plus. I was exaggerating, but only a little bit. "
Her mother's belief in therapy undoubtedly contributed to Lerner's career choice. She decided to become a clinical psycho [...]