There are moments in life that change everything. Days where life spins on its axis and realigns itself in a totally different configuration, one that you could never have predicted. Your life becomes something that you do not recognize; you yourself are somebody you do not know, a stranger.
Everything is different, foreign, and surreal.
These moments have an influence that extends past the boundaries of the person experiencing them. They break free of the event in which they are located, sending out ripples of influence that touch family and friends, colleagues, society at large, sometimes the whole world.
Eventually life may go back to something resembling normal, but sometimes things are never the same again.
These moments can cause a personality to change, relationships to change, life itself to change. Such moments define who you are, they re-cast your character.
You may emerge from them battered and broken. Or maybe triumphant; stronger and wiser, or perhaps humbled and awestruck. However you emerge, you know one thing; you will never be exactly the same. Your perception and perspective is forever altered. Your life is split into before and after. A line has been drawn.
These moments are rare and seem to come when you are least expecting them, the sky is often blue, there are no hints of apocalypse, and there is every indication that this day is like any other, except that it suddenly isn't…
The definitive moment in my life came in the form of a phone call on a Thursday in 2004.
It began as a normal day, but as it unfolded my life and everything in it unraveled. My mind began a spiraling downward slide into depression and anxiety, and a wall formed around me that kept me in a prison of my own making for more than ten years.
I was a policewoman working in a small town. I was just doing my job. I was also a mother and a wife. That fateful phone call set in motion a series of events that I am still struggling to come to terms with. It marked the end of a large part of my life, and the end of the self that I thought I was.
For me a day in 2004 was a day of crossing lines, and I found that once I had stepped over those lines I was in uncharted territory. There was no going back.