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The Clowns by [McBain, Tim, Vargus, L.T.]
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The Clowns Kindle Edition

5.0 out of 5 stars 1 customer review

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Length: 210 pages Word Wise: Enabled Enhanced Typesetting: Enabled
Page Flip: Enabled Language: English

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Product description

Product Description

They lurk in the woods. The biggest threat the city has ever faced – clowns. Evil clowns, armed and angry and hungry for human flesh.

Yep. Creepy clowns beckon people into the woods and stab them a bunch of times. Like so many times.

It's the age old battle of man vs. clown, and with the local police oblivious to the growing clown problem, Phillip Burkholder may be mankind's only hope. He is 15. He is flunking geometry. And possibly social studies. He has little to no clown slaying experience.

Crap. We could be looking at a clown-pocalypse scenario. Not good.

You know, we could go on and on about it, but it's homicidal clowns. You either want to read something like that or you don't.

Warning: May contain graphic violence and a lot of clowns.

Product details

  • Format: Kindle Edition
  • File Size: 1167 KB
  • Print Length: 210 pages
  • Simultaneous Device Usage: Unlimited
  • Publisher: Smarmy Press (25 October 2016)
  • Sold by: Amazon Australia Services, Inc.
  • Language: English
  • ASIN: B01M3UYOO1
  • Text-to-Speech: Enabled
  • X-Ray:
  • Word Wise: Enabled
  • Screen Reader: Supported
  • Enhanced Typesetting: Enabled
  • Average Customer Review: 5.0 out of 5 stars 1 customer review
  • Amazon Bestsellers Rank: #305,804 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
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Format: Kindle Edition
So, it wouldn't be Halloween '16 without some sort of messed up clown story to turn the current fad of grease painted idiocy into something a little more scary and whole more messed up. Tim and Lex have once again brought their game and given us a short(seriously short, like, an hour and half short) little tale of killer zombie Clowns, misunderstood teens and their trademark humor and unique descriptive narrative style we have come to love and expect. Although short and feels a little rushed at the end, it is well worth the read and re-ignited a deep seated fear of the jolly jester that I had tramped down since seeing IT at the tender age of 4(thanks dad!).
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews on Amazon.com (beta) (May include reviews from Early Reviewer Rewards Program)

Amazon.com: 4.3 out of 5 stars 36 reviews
8 of 8 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Not your normal creepy clowns 6 November 2016
By JennlyT - Published on Amazon.com
Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase
Perfect for Halloween, and piggy backing off the recent real life creepy clown sightings in the US, McBain and Vargus unleash this delectable little morsel on the world. Very reminiscent of an old 80’s slasher flick, “The Clowns” follows two outcast teens as they band together to stop an ever-growing horde of murderous clowns from terrorizing their city. The catch seems to be that they are the only ones that truly know what is going on. As the duo uncover the truth of this clown plague they realize that there is more at stake this Devil’s Night then just petty mischief.

Not very many books have me looking over my shoulder, but this one did. Especially on those pre-dawn moments prior to starting my work day while I was outside reading a chapter or two my mind often manufactured a rustle in the woods off to my right or a glint of light off a sharp object in my peripheral vision. While not a long book, The Clowns still delivers with an abundance of suspense, gore and a cruel twist of fate. The novella seems to be written more with a teen audience in mind, but for those of us far removed from middle and high school this could also be a brilliant injection of nostalgia as, for me at least, the school environment depicted wasn’t too far from my own.

So… in a nutshell, The Clowns is dark, bleak, with a bit of “The River’s Edge” kind of feel as our two teenage anti-heroes traipse around the town at all hours of the day and night. If you’re looking for something that’s a lot scary a tad comedic and reminding you of days gone by, this book delivers.
2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Coulrophobes Beware 10 January 2017
By elfshanx - Published on Amazon.com
Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase
If Stephen King's IT and every slasher film from the glory days of horror spent a passionate and bloody night together, The Clowns would be the beautiful-ugly baby they abandoned on the orphanage doorstep nine months later.

From a high-concept angle, it's the story of two social outcasts fighting to save their hometown from a gaggle of evil, cannibalistic clowns. But as always happens when it comes from the hilarious and twisted minds of LT Vargus and Tim McBain, the story becomes so much more. Told in terrifying, gory, and heartbreaking vignettes, The Clowns is a combo meal of everything that's great about horror. It'll max out your Creepometer, make you laugh, and sucker punch your emotions when you least expect it.

The Clowns was released around Halloween, but give it a go anytime you're jonesing for some good old-fashioned horror. You will not be disappointed.
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars "Don't Bother...They're Here..." 14 November 2016
By BloodyMummer - Published on Amazon.com
Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase
I don't find clowns frightening in normal situations, but since when have these authors gravitated anywhere close to "normal". The short novel is satisfying if you crave tense, suspenseful horror, but certainly leaves room for characters to flourish and act realistically. Tears may or may not be shed, depending on your sympathies for the most vulnerable of our society. The authors display their trademark callous, hardened regard for life, and let's face it; that's why we love them so.
I must admit, I almost awarded this read a scant four stars, but realized that if so, it would be because the work wasn't long enough. By that logic I could criticize anything I liked for the same reason. I don't think that's fair. I will point out to the authors that there is still meat on this bone, and I for one, wouldn't be shy about gnawing at it again.
To sum up this review I say: "Damn you, Barbra!"
5.0 out of 5 stars Awesome story... 19 January 2017
By Blanchepadgett - Published on Amazon.com
Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase
Another great book. I was quite unsure where this one was going but I was hooked. Where I live, there have been supposed sightings of killer clowns...But I loved this storyline. I really liked the ending
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars A fun read 1 November 2016
By sally - Published on Amazon.com
Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase
I do like reading Tim McBain' books. However this one was written for teenagers, I think. Oh, it had plenty of action, but it was mostly kiddy stuff.

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