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The Book You Wish Your Parents Had Read (and Your Children Will Be Glad That You Did): THE #1 SUNDAY TIMES BESTSELLER Paperback – 5 January 2021

4.6 out of 5 stars 4,847 ratings

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Made me think about me and who I am and my parents and who they are and maybe, hopefully, one day what sort of parent I might strive to beDolly Alderton

I don't have kids but [this book] is a fascinating read on the emotional baggage we all carry ― Elizabeth Day, How to Fail podcast

The Easter holidays were a complete joy because of your book - I feel about a trillion times more relaxed and connected as a parent and I have also found it very helpful for my sobriety and recovery ― Bryony Gordon

EVERY parent should read this book, however old their child. In fact, any adult in a relationship should read it too. Distilled in less than 250 pages is a road map to healthy relationships. Required readingExpress

Not got kids? It doesn't matter, as the wonderful psychotherapist Philippa Perry's latest book is actually about using our pasts to understand ourselves (...) it's also an excellent book for reminding yourself: life is hard and you're doing your best - so try not to beat yourself up for everyday mistakes ― Stylist

So clear and true ... can't stop recommending it to people ... helpful for all relationships in life, not just parent-child ― Nigella Lawson

Not got kids? It doesn't matter, as the wonderful psychotherapist Philippa Perry's latest book is actually about using our pasts to understand ourselves and how we react to situations that test our patience and emotions. She explains that these sharp reactions might well be down to what happened in our childhoods - and the flashpoints that these emotions can stir up makes for fascinating reading whether you're actively parenting or not. It's also an excellent book for reminding yourself: life is hard and you're doing your best - so try not to beat yourself up for everyday mistakes ― Stylist

If you're determinedly not a self-help kind of reader (like me), make an exception for [this book]. And if you're not a parent, don't dismiss it. The message is one of non-judgemental kindness. The sophisticated psychoanalytical version of my "count to ten and then say something kind" advice to my kids (and myself) when things start to fall apart ― Vogue

As a mother of a three year old, I have an aversion to the endless saccharine social-media posts about parenting. Perry's book is the antithesis of all that - practical and logicalElle

Philippa Perry goes through each stage of parenthood, from pregnancy to the teen years, suggesting emotional techniques that will help you to have a strong and healthy relationship with your babies and yourselfMother & Baby

It gave me hope as a new parent that whatever learnt behaviour you've got from your mum and dad (...) you can learn from that but it doesn't have to stay with you ― Babita Sharma, BBC News

In fact, I'd say Philippa Perry is one of the wisest, most sane and secure people I've ever met ― Decca Aitkenhead, Sunday Time Magazine

she writes with an inquisitive elegance rarely found in parenting guides (...) the book is still firm with parents but also forgiving (...) it is forgiving and persuasive - God, it's persuasive. I've yet to meet a parent who hasn't altered their parenting to some degree after reading it, myself included

Hadley Freeman, the Guardian

I'm going to be honest Philippa, this has genuinely had such a positive impact on my life and my relationship with my daughter - so thank you very much for that ― Josh Widdicombe

A wise book on parents and children ― The Times

The main message is that is that it's best to acknowledge, rather than dismiss, children's feelings (...) and that parenting is not about perfectioni Newspaper

I've had the most wonderful feedback from this episode. People stopping me on the street to say how much they've love the book's advice. Philippa's wisdom and delivery has resonated with many parents out there. I can't thank her enough for her time and energy ― Happy Place podcast

It is like a letter from a wise friend who happens to have done years of research (...) I am grateful for it ― Aida Edemariam, The Guardian

A wise book on parents and childrenSaturday Times

The main message is that is that it's best to acknowledge, rather than dismiss, children's feelings (...) and that parenting is not about perfectioniWeekend

Book Description

The #1 Sunday Times bestselling guide to healthier, happier relationships by a leading psychotherapist

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Product details

  • Publisher ‏ : ‎ Penguin Life; 1st edition (5 January 2021)
  • Language ‏ : ‎ English
  • Paperback ‏ : ‎ 272 pages
  • ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 0241251028
  • ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-0241251027
  • Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 12.9 x 1.7 x 19.8 cm
  • Customer Reviews:
    4.6 out of 5 stars 4,847 ratings

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4.6 out of 5 stars
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4,847 global ratings
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Top reviews from Australia

Reviewed in Australia on 17 December 2019
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Reviewed in Australia on 13 August 2021
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Reviewed in Australia on 26 August 2021
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Reviewed in Australia on 29 May 2021
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Reviewed in Australia on 14 May 2021
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Reviewed in Australia on 2 November 2019
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Reviewed in Australia on 29 June 2021

Top reviews from other countries

emma who reads a lot
5.0 out of 5 stars Full of huge realisations and moments of insight
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 11 March 2019
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5.0 out of 5 stars Full of huge realisations and moments of insight
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 11 March 2019
I thought this book was superb but more than that, after about ten minutes I felt it was already changing my behaviour! My friend who recommended it said the same.
Perry lays out her methods and thoughts very gently, with lots of good examples from real life, little case studies; but it’s the insights which really help. Looking at WHY we lose our rag about certain trigger bits of parenting - going back to our own childhoods and looking at why - OH MY GOD. Brilliant.
There’s also so much help here about FIXING those situations once you as the parent have cocked up. Rupture / repair, as she puts it.
And also advice on how to manage your parental situations better. When your kid says look at this, LOOK AT IT. I know that sounds sort of obvious but often I will say “hang on a sec I’m making dinner” etc. I feel like from now on I will do that differently because it doesn’t take two seconds to run and look. And the response you get is ♥️
I found it readable, funny, thoughtful, insightful, but most of all INCREDIBLY useful and, very very very rare for a book, genuinely life-changing.
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441 people found this helpful
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Amazon Customer
5.0 out of 5 stars Invaluable, even if your kids are quite grown up now
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 15 March 2019
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216 people found this helpful
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AmazonCustomer84
3.0 out of 5 stars Interesting but too general about sleep training
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 17 April 2019
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179 people found this helpful
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Kay
2.0 out of 5 stars Preachy.
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 26 August 2019
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125 people found this helpful
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jenland
5.0 out of 5 stars Not *just* great for parents ...
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 18 March 2019
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87 people found this helpful
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