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Becoming Cliterate: Why Orgasm Equality Matters--And How to Get It Kindle Edition
Laurie Mintz
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Product description
From the Back Cover
We've separated our most reliable route to orgasm--clitoral stimulation--from how we feel we should orgasm--penetration. As a result, as many as half of women admit to having trouble reaching orgasm with their partners. No surprise, then, that men are having at least three times as many orgasms as women. As for first-time hookup sex? The pleasure gap is largest here. Only 4 percent of women are getting off.
In Becoming Cliterate, psychology professor and human sexuality expert Dr. Laurie Mintz exposes the broader cultural problem that's perpetuating this gap, and what we can do about it. Pulling together evidence from biology, sociology, linguistics, and sex therapy into one comprehensive, accessible, and prescriptive book, Mintz dispels the lies, misunderstandings, and myths that have been holding us back, replacing them with updated outlooks and practical skills needed to change our collective perspective on sex.
In a time when we need both personal and political answers more than ever, Becoming Cliterate explores the way everyday sexism has made its way into our bedrooms. Dr. Mintz provides fascinating, little-known information about the female anatomy and offers concrete advice on how to feel entitled to your own pleasure and develop sexual communication skills that will lead to the best conversations--and sex--you've ever had.
"Quality sex is only possible with true sexual equality," Dr. Mintz says. "We've never--at any point in Western history--had a time where the majority of the population valued women's way of orgasm as equal to a man's. It's time to change history."
The revolution is cuming--and Becoming Cliterate offers a radical, simple solution to progress and pleasure for all.
--This text refers to the hardcover edition.From the Inside Flap
We've separated our most reliable route to orgasm--clitoral stimulation--from how we feel we should orgasm--penetration. As a result, as many as half of women admit to having trouble reaching orgasm with their partners. No surprise, then, that men are having at least three times as many orgasms as women. As for first-time hookup sex? The pleasure gap is largest here. Only 4 percent of women are getting off.
In Becoming Cliterate, psychology professor and human sexuality expert Dr. Laurie Mintz exposes the broader cultural problem that's perpetuating this gap, and what we can do about it. Pulling together evidence from biology, sociology, linguistics, and sex therapy into one comprehensive, accessible, and prescriptive book, Mintz dispels the lies, misunderstandings, and myths that have been holding us back, replacing them with updated outlooks and practical skills needed to change our collective perspective on sex.
In a time when we need both personal and political answers more than ever, Becoming Cliterate explores the way everyday sexism has made its way into our bedrooms. Dr. Mintz provides fascinating, little-known information about the female anatomy and offers concrete advice on how to feel entitled to your own pleasure and develop sexual communication skills that will lead to the best conversations--and sex--you've ever had.
"Quality sex is only possible with true sexual equality," Dr. Mintz says. "We've never--at any point in Western history--had a time where the majority of the population valued women's way of orgasm as equal to a man's. It's time to change history."
The revolution is cuming--and Becoming Cliterate offers a radical, simple solution to progress and pleasure for all.
--New York Times --This text refers to an alternate kindle_edition edition.About the Author
Laurie Mintz, PhD, is a college professor at the University of Florida who teaches the psychology of human sexuality to hundreds of students a year and has had over twenty years of experience working with private clients on sexual issues. Dr. Mintz has received numerous professional and teaching awards, and is a fellow of the American Psychological Association. She has published over fifty research studies, writes a popular Psychology Today blog, and has been quoted extensively in Parenting, Cosmopolitan, Prevention, Woman's Day, Women's Health, Men's Health, CNN.com, Oprah.com and the Huffington Post.
Teri Clark Linden is a professional stage, screen, and voice-over actress with years of industry experience. She received her BA in theater from Chicago's Roosevelt University and has been seen along side Laverne & Shirley star Cindy Williams in Kong's Night Out at Meadow Brook Theatre. Appearances in film include Jack Reacher with Tom Cruise, Won't Back Down with Viola Davis, and Super 8.
--This text refers to the audioCD edition.Review
An excellent, thorough, inspiring, and much-needed guide to the source of our deepest energy, pleasure, and power-the clitoris. Everyone needs to read this book and become Cliterate.
-- "Eve Ensler, author of The Vagina Monologues"Down with ill-cliteracy! The tongue is mightier than the sword! Brothers- and sisters-in-arms (and legs and butts and hearts and souls), bring your huddled masses to this book and embrace orgasm equality! Think outside HER box! Viva la Vulva!
-- "Ian Kerner, PhD, LMFT, New York Times bestselling author" --This text refers to the audioCD edition.Product details
- ASIN : B01KFBO7AM
- Publisher : HarperOne; Illustrated edition (9 May 2017)
- Language : English
- File size : 5250 KB
- Text-to-Speech : Enabled
- Enhanced typesetting : Enabled
- X-Ray : Enabled
- Word Wise : Enabled
- Print length : 288 pages
- Best Sellers Rank: 9,531 in Kindle Store (See Top 100 in Kindle Store)
- Customer Reviews:
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Customer reviews
Top reviews from other countries

This book details our culture’s flawed way of thinking about sex, especially when it comes to women’s orgasms. We’ve been conditioned by porn, movies, books, mainstream media etc to believe that the only way for a woman to orgasm with a male partner is through penetration alone and lots of thrusting of his penis. This is the most reliable way for a man to orgasm, after all. But it’s been proven that only a small minority of women orgasm this way! So why does society continue to perpetuate this myth? And herein lies the issue and why the orgasm gap is so large.
The most reliable way for women to orgasm is through stimulation of their clitoris. (Any men reading this review, please re-read that last sentence!) Yes, penetration feels great, and often penetration plus clitoral stimulation feels really great, but penetration alone is not likely to lead to a female orgasm. Many women fake it because we’ve been made to feel like we’re odd/broken in some way because we don’t orgasm through penetration. WE’RE NOT. It’s totally normal.
This book highlights the myths and misunderstandings that have shaped our thinking about sex today and then educates and makes suggestions as to how we can change this outdated and incorrect view.
One of the facts that blew my mind was that we call the whole of the female genitals a vagina. This is scientifically incorrect. The outside bits are called a vulva. The inside bits are the vagina. The author makes some interesting points about why this matters, especially because the vulva includes the clitoris. I shall never use the wrong word again.
I also loved learning that the clitoris has no other function than pleasure. That’s right, it’s purely there for a woman’s entertainment and orgasm!
The author also argues that clitoral stimulation (when a woman is more likely to orgasm) is often lumped in ‘foreplay’ and that penetration (when a man is more likely to orgasm) is considered the main event of heterosexual intercourse. This definition needs to change. For a woman, what is called ‘foreplay’ is the main event, it’s not the warm up or the least important part.
This book also tackles one-night stands (why men generally orgasm and women rarely do on a hook up and how to change that), masturbation (with some practical, hands-on advice…), how to communicate about sex to tell partners what you like, sex education and more.
Becoming Cliterate is not just for women, it’s also for men and there’s a dedicated section. This enlightening book is a must-read for those who think it’s time we change our perspective on sex because orgasm equality does matter. Men are having at least three times more orgasms than women – it’s time we caught up ladies!

"Becoming cliterate" will be of interest, and (perhaps more important) of practical use to you only if you (i) are a woman, and (ii) you are not satisfied ‘enough’ with the pleasure you derive from having sex with male partners. The book is unlikely to be of much benefit to women who only engage in lesbian sex, since those are usually well aware of their genitalia, just as they are of those of their female partners. That the author gives almost as much importance to lesbian sex as to heterosexual practices is more revealing of a ‘post-feminist’ bias than it reflects any real or perceived need for lesbians to ‘improve’ their pleasure. Lesbians know where and how to seek it; most of them certainly (and rather obviously) succeed, and they look no further. This book will hardly tell them anything they don’t already do.
Thus, the book is primarily focused on women’s ‘inability’ to experience orgasm, or the ‘unreliability’ with which they attain it in ‘normal’ sex i.e. during heterosexual (vaginal) intercourse (the author chooses to say next to nothing about anal sex). The author directly addresses her woman reader (which makes for slightly odd – but bearable – reading if you happen to be a man). Her ‘straightforward’ way of speaking, which some may think verges on the vulgar, may not be to everybody’s taste; regardless of the author’s credentials, this is not an academic book!
Mintz does a fairly good job at describing the key parts of the vulva and their clear or likely function as pleasure ‘sites’. She also dwells on properly naming things. Some of it is welcome, like the persistent and revealing public confusion between ‘vagina’ and ‘vulva’; but much of what she insists on is overly lengthy. Her tour of the vulva might have benefited from more detail, and it is all second-hand, based – as she openly admits – on popular rather than trustworthy medical literature. However, this is needed as too many women cannot name or even clearly identify those intimate body parts...
The author’s “the clit is everything” post-Hite belief finds its expression in advice regarding how to ‘touch’ yourself, with emphasis on variations and variants, and how to involve a partner in similar explorations. Her message that, in this matter as in others, clear communication is paramount, can only be good to take, as is her insistence that ‘sex’ or ‘love-making’ is inclusive of everything that makes either or both parties feel good, throwing away the die-hard distinction between ‘foreplay’ (a mere appetizer, at best a tasty starter), and the main (inter)course (the really fulfilling part). A shame, really, that so many people should have to be ‘taught’ this.
The book includes a chapter that is aimed at male partners. This merely recaps the take-away message of the book: ‘mind the clit’ (and its surroundings), and ‘your’ woman will reach the coveted Big One each and every time, with your ‘big’ help or not – and never mind if you ‘come first’, or if you don’t at all. ‘Equality’, in Mintz’s sense, gets heavily shifted to the female side – a healthy revenge, perhaps, from the historical man-only or man-first bias.
Some women will remain a tad frustrated that the contribution of good old intercourse to ‘peak (female) pleasure’ is so radically downplayed. If reading the book is useful to women who do not, or rarely, achieve orgasm during intercourse (without additional stimulation), or who might more generally benefit from some good sex education, the book has little value to anyone who seeks insights into understanding women’s sexual pleasure in general, and orgasm in particular. Statistics based on questionnaires are not likely to be very reliable, but it is certainly the case that (consistently with their anatomy) most women do not reach orgasm through sustained penetration alone. Even if this is the case for as much as 70% of women, this still leaves a very large number of women who DO often enough experience a purely 'vaginal' orgasm. Moreover, those women are often heard saying that what they experience as orgasm in such circumstances is both qualitatively and quantitatively different from what they derive from direct clitoral stimulation (where the latter is, by and large, what Mintz seeks to promote). Many even contrast the ‘global’, overwhelming and longer-lasting effects of ‘penetrative orgasm’ with the more ‘local’, acute, lightning and mentally less-affecting ‘feel’ of clitoral orgasm (as in everything of course, some will beg to differ).
The anatomy and psycho-physiology of women remains enigmatic (what about those – documented, if rare – orgasms triggered by anal penetration alone, despite the lack of any obvious anatomical structures that would support their existence, or even their possibility?). It is one of the drawbacks of this educational book that, driven by its militant claims, it fails to draw attention to these fascinating issues that some women, like their partners, may think DO matter.


I learn't stuff and was just checking it out before giving it to my teenage daughter.
Well worth the read
