The Astonishing Color of After Audio CD – Audiobook, CD, Unabridged

As an Asian-American woman who has the last name Sanders and a mother who grappled with suicide and who also went to Taiwan recently... I randomly learned about this book from a Buzzfeed article and was like uhhh yeah I need to buy this like yesterday!

What I liked: This was a great debut by a very promising author and the premise was intriguing to say the least. I stayed up until 1am reading it and finished it the next day, and will be loaning my copy to a couple of friends and family members. I thought the writing was overall strong and clear and engaging. The portrayal of depression and suicide and the stigma that surrounds mental health, especially in Asian-American families, is realistic. I am also a sucker for magical realism.

What I am torn on: Eastern mythicism is kind of the backbone of this novel, which is not something I generally love because this is a trope that has been done to death by orientalist authors like Amy Tan, and can often contribute to building an unhealthy exploitative aura of fabricated mystery around people from Asia, painting them as mysterious, superstitious 'others' rather than highlighting our similarities and bridging cultural divides. However, I will say that pretty much all of the religious and cultural elements mentioned in this novel are portrayed accurately, and the perspective of the protagonist does read to be from someone who is genuinely trying to understand the local culture.

What I didn't like: The main character's best friend/love interest, Axel, is a boring and uncompelling character; he is basically a male version of her. Yet he is featured prominently in the novel and there is no way to escape him because even when he is not present, her streams of consciousness keep turning to him. The dialogue in general was stilted and unrealistic, and not reflective of how teenagers actually speak. (The characters mostly speak in cliched language reminiscent of the 90s, along the lines of: "Ugh, mo-om!" I sighed, rolling my eyes. "You're being <i>totally</i> annoying!")

Family members left behind after a suicide face deep pain. Resources offering real help are included in this book! Thanks to NetGalley and Little, Brown Books for Young Readers for the opportunity to read and review The Astonishing Color of After! The main character saw her mother’s suicide and believes that her mother has visited her as a bird. No one believes her even though she has physical evidence. Her and her father visit her maternal grandparents in Taiwan and even though they don’t speak much English, they believe that the bird is true. This book is difficult to categorize into a genre, but even though it has supernatural happenings throughout the story, I feel that this is still, above all, a realistic fiction tale. The deep pain that survivors of suicidal family members face is a real problem and an intense struggle that hasn’t been addressed as much as it’s needed. The Astonishing Color of After helps! Resources are included towards the end of the book for various needs of those dealing with depression, loss, suicide and/or suicidal thoughts. The resources are categorized under the following headings: Suicide Prevention, For Suicide Loss Survivors and Understanding Mental Illness. The cultural education and coping skills made the story more interesting and I love Axel and the great friend that he is to Leigh and I appreciate the author’s honesty about her own experiences of being a suicide survivor. 4 stars!

I read this right before finals time. It was an incredible pick me up, and I’m so lucky to have found a copy collecting dust on my bookstore’s ARC shelf. It would have been a waste had it not been picked up immediately and read.

Leigh is one of the most complex characters I’ve ever met, and I loved it so much. A large part of how Leigh communicates her feelings and even describes them to herself is through color. In bursts of great rainbows are we able to see the world in her eyes, and I loved the diverse nature of her perspective. Going back to your roots is hard when you don’t know much about them. There is so much she wants to learn, and she doesn’t know where to start with all of the covered up family history.

One of the best parts of the book was the emotion. It was raw and painful with no holding back, and it was eloquently done. I could feel the emotion that Pan bled into the pages with each word. It was something that I can’t stop thinking about. With Leigh’s colors, emotions became as visually vibrant as they were abstractly. Leigh’s grief is what compels her to go to Taiwan. It is what brings her forward in her personal journey.

The setting was gorgeous. I felt like I was wandering the Taiwanese markets with Leigh and her grandparents. I loved the detail and the dissonance that Leigh feels while being in Taiwan was something that spoke to me. Living as an Asian-American, there are a lot of expectations on both sides, both cultures. When you fail to meet one of them, there is a certain feeling of otherness as you try to straddle both sides but come short. I feel like this was well captured throughout the story.

Art is another big aspect in this book for Leigh. It’s a source of healing and expression for her. I love that she persists to pursue her passion despite the tension between herself and her father. It shows that she is developing her beliefs and boundaries. There are things she’s willing to sacrifice and things she isn’t.

This personal journey was thrilling and magical to be part of. I really hope you take part in it when it releases this March!

Happy reading,
Sophie :)